Glimmers Vs. Triggers: Discovering Your Joy

After a week that felt like I was living a Tarot Tower card moment (thanks new moon!), I've been called to remember my glimmers. Unlike those nasty triggers, glimmers are snippets of the better slice of life. Whether your glimmers come in personal accomplishments, wicked good moments, family outings, or solitude, we all have them. Discovering what makes us feel good can be a hint as to where we should set our sails, and devote our energy toward. When you know what makes you tick---in a good way--- you can create more of it, setting yourself up for a life of joy and fulfillment. Let's pull together these puzzle piece moments so we can create a future masterpiece that is your life! No one else will do it for you. You have to save yourself.

To hear my guest appearance on the "Wish I'd Known Then... For Authors" podcast, please click here-

https://wishidknownforwriters.com/193-2/

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

It's time to wake up, witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. Welcome back, witches. It is Thanksgiving week in the US. As I'm recording this at Sunday, so it's a day before this goes live, because I have not had time to back out. I'm not record like I love to do, so my life can be more in balance because it is not been in balance and we're about to get to that. But before I do want to tell you all that the episode that I was a guest speaker in for the wish I'd known then podcast for authors is live. It went live last week. I'm super, super excited about it. I feel so grateful for them to have let me speak about you know they're you're not stuck book and about overcoming domestic violence, because that is what I love to spread the word about. So please check it out. I will drop a link in the show notes for that, and if I'm sounding down and defeated, it's because I am down and defeated.

Speaker 1: 1:31

It has been a really awful week. Like a really awful week. You know I was high vibing. I've been doing all this high vibe stuff, waking up at five and just feeling good and working out and I don't know what happened. Honestly don't. It's a whole bunch of things, but I did see it coming and we do a new moon ritual. My husband and I have talked about it before on the podcast, like the living with the seasons or whatever. I think I talked about new moon, full moon rituals. Well, it was a new moon recently, so we did our meditation thing and we I pulled tarot cards, one for okay, this is where I'm at now and this is what to expect in the next month and I know a lot of y'all are listening.

Speaker 1: 2:22

You're like you're crazy. It has always been spot on. For me. It used to be spot on when I did it for my husband, but I think I was like super, super in alignment and I was just in tune with everything back then when I was doing that, and I'm not anymore. I'm pretty frazzled these days, but it's, I've always been able to read myself. So for mine, it was spot on where I'm at now Absolutely freaking, scary. Spot on, spot on last month.

Speaker 1: 2:55

And then I pulled the card. That's like, okay, what to expect in the next month. I pulled the tower, y'all, and if you know anything about tarot, you're like, oh shit, that's. I think that's the worst card. No well, maybe debatable, but probably most would see that as the worst card, because it's like people jumping out of a fiery tower and everything's on fire and burning down and it's just not a good sign and I'm like crap, what the hell can I expect? And then when I pulled it from my husband was all so bad, it was like a heartbreak card and we're like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen. But for me I was just like, you know, god, all right. As you know, I've been having it pretty good, pretty good for a while. So something's going to, you know, just break down and need to be rebuilt. Which people who are like, oh, the tower card? When you see it as positive, it's like just rebuilding, you know, after devastation, massacre, so got that going for me.

Speaker 1: 4:04

So this week it started off okay, but then stuff blew up at work. A lot of people were out and I had to cover for all of them. On top of doing things like end of year reviews, we have new changes coming because I'm ahead, I have to be the bearer of bad news. Sometimes that never feels good and I was just so overwhelmed at work. I did the thing that I do all the time because I'm a workaholic I work until I get mental fatigue and I've been on the verge of tears all week long, like it's not just work. My daughter she's been out sick all week long and I get very anxious when my daughter's sick, so she's been out. That's been difficult.

Speaker 1: 4:54

And then, on top of it all, two people that I have not heard from in a long time and who shouldn't be trying to weasel their way back into my life. Two people contacted me and I'm like, no hell, no hell, no hell, no, I handled it with grace. I had a couple options there, but I just respectfully did not keep that bond and I let it go. But it was so weird that this week two of them two of them tried to reach out with weasley, sneaky, snake ways out of nowhere and I'm like, yeah, the tower's right. Everything is falling apart this week and it's just, it's been bad y'all. It has been so bad Like.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Like I said, for real I've been on the verge of tears all week. I was even in a meeting and someone delivered good news to me. It was me and two other people. They delivered good news and, oh, one of the people on the call was like, is the sun shining in your eyes or is that a glimmer in your eye? I see, cat. Cause this is just happy news. And I was like, oh yes, it's happy news. What I really wanted to say was fuck, no, I've been on the verge of tears all fucking week because work is blown up, personal life is blown up and I drew the tower but it didn't, because I'm professional. So I was like, yeah, that's what it is Glimmer over happy news. I can't make this shit up. So that has been my life.

Speaker 1: 6:52

But it's Thanksgiving weekend or week long weekend for me, cause I took some time off so I can work on myself, and cause I need it, cause I've been on the verge of tears. I just have to get through two more days of work and then I am working on my next book and the series, and then I'm working on my podcast and all kinds of stuff. I've also been still volunteering for a domestic violence charity and looking at other charities that I could be a part of, and there's so much out there, y'all. There's so much out there and there's so much I want to do and I just don't have the time in the day and I do this thing to myself where I'm just like I run myself down because I want to do so much. I want to help, I want to like make a difference. And if I'm not making a difference, then I get very frustrated and I don't feel like I'm living my life to the fullest.

Speaker 1: 7:47

And if you listened to that podcast where I was a guest and they're like what's your definition of success? You know what mine is, but I'll probably never reach it, I can't say that it's finding your enough and I need stability and fulfillment and that's just something I chase. So I'm looking into all these different things where I can help out maybe be a speaker on advocacy, things like that. And yeah, like looking at legal processes, getting laws drafted, things like that. Love that stuff would be so excited to be a part of that.

Speaker 1: 8:25

So that's kind of on the horizon things I'm looking for to do in 2024, which is kind of what this podcast is going to be about, because I know a lot of people are like well, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what my mission is, I don't know what brings me joy and that's what it has to be. It needs to be something that brings you joy. And yeah, I know people are like your job doesn't have to fulfill you. You can just work nine to five and then, you know, do all your hobbies after work and, yeah, you can do that too. But how amazing it is to have a job and an income that provides you stability and fulfillment because you're doing what you love. And if you're like I don't know what I love, I don't know what brings me joy, I just don't know. That's what this podcast is about. It's going to be about figuring that out, because if you listen to the last podcast and you're like you knowped out of these holiday traditions where you have to spend energy with dark doodoo people and energy vampires, and you're like I got this time on my hands. Here's what you're going to do. You're going to start planning for next year.

Speaker 1: 9:31

We've been doing this whole series on romanticizing your life, getting those high vibes up there, manifestation visualizations working on you so you can prepare in 2024. Now you need to figure out what that solid goal looks like. You know, and a lot of you, that's divorce. We're going to have an episode on that the reality of divorce, how you know how it is, how it goes. It's not some shiny rainbows, I know you all know that, but when you're divorcing an abuser, it's even more of a challenge. But do not let that stop you, because you're a badass and you're going to focus on the positive, because that's the only way you're going to get through the negative. So for this episode, take some time and we're going to create a list of glimmers. If you've never heard of a glimmer, it is the exact opposite of a trigger, and I know you know what a trigger is. But let me just read the definition to you.

Speaker 1: 10:29

A trigger typically refers to a stimulus that causes a negative emotional response, especially in people who have experienced trauma or have certain mental health conditions. Triggers can prompt reactions such as anxiety, panic, flashbacks or other distressing symptoms. They can be specific sites, sounds, smells or situations that remind someone of a traumatic event or stir up negative emotions. For example, a loud noise might trigger a panic response in someone with PTSD. You know, you always hear like you know someone who is in the army. They could be triggered by fireworks.

Speaker 1: 11:04

For me, I had more triggers when I was going through, like the healing part of after the divorce, but some, I think, are always going to stick with me. One of those is people yelling and raising their voice. It creates like the fight or fight with me. I usually shut down, like all my emotions and I get super anxious. So those things are triggers and you probably know what your triggers are and you're probably going to discover them as you continue on your journey of self-development, self-growth, yada, yada, yada. If you've been through traumatic events, they're going to pop up in your life and you're going to be like, oh, can't do that. One of mine was I used to you know, forever ago be able to watch movies with, like you know, that had domestic violence in it, but I just can't anymore. It's not as bad as it used to be when I first got a divorce and something would pop up and I would have to turn it off because it would ruin my whole night. But it's still there.

Speaker 1: 12:15

And while I'm talking about that hold up, I need to talk about something real quick. This just reminded me up. All right, I could go off on a long tangent here about what are you doing to change this narrative of it's okay to hurt women, and I need to do that on an episode. I'm thinking should I save this? Hold on, let me pause this and think Maybe I'll just repeat it on an episode. But let me tell you right here, right now I just learned about and this needs to be a total episode of it's own life, episode of it's own, because I have so outspoken about this you might be doing stuff that's supporting the violence against women without recognizing it.

Speaker 1: 13:09

But I just wanna leave this statistic here that I just found out and it's about porn and it's the. There's a. It is a study that was done. It's like a true scientific study. I have the bookmark on my computer. It's like NCA DV or whatever. It's one of those like real studies and it was like it took a sample of, like the most popular porn and it said that 88.2% of that porn showed physical violence toward women Toward the. It was mostly male against female. It also stated that in this study all of this was mostly male against female. 88.2% of the most popular porn shows physical violence against women. 48.7% showed verbally abusive violence I guess you could call that one verbally abusive name calling and stuff toward women. And I saw a great quote recently that was like men cannot be empathetic to women's pain because they masturbate to it. And this study speaks for itself and this is the whole point of the podcast Like we have to change this and again, we're not going to until women get in power and start fixing this shit, changing laws, yada, yada, yada. I mean that quote was so powerful to me because it's so freaking true. You can see it in porn, which I wholeheartedly believe has really fucked men up.

Speaker 1: 14:47

All right, but again another conversation. But one more thing. I know it's supposed to be talking about triggers and glimmers here. I watched Matt Reif came out and everyone was like Matt Reif, matt Reif. I'm like who is this dude? Let me just see. He came out on Netflix this past Wednesday so I told my husband I was like, let's just see.

Speaker 1: 15:07

You know, we like watching standup comedians Love Eliza, she's one of my favorites and I was like, let me give this guy a try, because everyone keeps talking about him. He was probably two or three minutes into his skit and he made a joke about a woman with a black eye because she wasn't good in the kitchen. And I'm like I know people are like comedians can, they can laugh about everything, but I don't think that's the case, maybe back then, but I just think we're so much more educated and I don't think punching down is funny. I don't think mentioning anything about victims is funny. Would you get on stage and joke about a school shooting victim or a victim of sexual assault? Why is it so funny to crack jokes at women and femicide and violence against women? Why is it so normalized Matt Reif, who everyone seems to like, I turned it off.

Speaker 1: 16:07

I'm like fuck this motherfucker, I am not supporting him, like no, and I'm gonna be vocal about it. It's not funny. I watch comedians all the time who never punched down, who don't make fun of people who are victims or in shitty situations, like and they're hilarious and they're successful and they don't have to do that. So again, be prepared because there's gonna be a huge long bitch session podcast on what are you doing about these problems and maybe you're supporting this stuff in ways that you don't realize it and we can't do that because none's gonna change. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 16:45

Back to the subject at hand. I do that so much but I needed to get that off my chest because that recently happened and I don't wanna forget about it and I was just shocked and sad. I'm sad because it's not gonna get better until women start saying this isn't okay. So anyways, glimmers and triggers. So we know what triggers are. Matt Rife triggered the fuck out of me. Not like I'm so scared, more like fuck you, asshole dude, thank you for bringing out my feminine rage and I'm gonna tell everyone how shitty you are because you have to make light of victims and you're probably one of those guys who's like oh, I'm not going to support women's, feel empathetic for their pain because I masturbate to it. That's 80%, 88.2% of porn, by the way. I know I'm gonna repeat that until it's in your brain. But God, yeah, dude, I know I'm dropping the F bomb here, but I've had a hard week and fuck him Like ugh, whatever, gross.

Speaker 1: 17:55

Go watch Eliza. She's hilarious. She talks about millennials and Gen Z and having what does she call it a party demon? And she never punches down. In fact, I saw one time on her Instagram she said something like I'm not afraid to hurt man's feelings and call y'all out for all the violence you do. It's like yeah, I like this girl. I can't remember her last name Eliza, something. I don't know if she's all over the internet. She's super amazing. Check her out, don't check out Matt Rife. Oh wait a minute, I just pulled an article up. Let me finish bitching here. He says, yeah, rife tells his friend, but I feel like if she could cook she wouldn't have that black eye. All right, this is part of his skip. The crowd laughs loudly but so excited he said, if we start the show with domestic violence, the rest of the show should be smooth sailing. Is that a show you wanna watch? Cause it's not a show I wanna watch and that's not something dude, I wanna give my support. Well, I'm sorry y'all, this is I'm letting all my rage out. God, if you wanna turn this episode off, I feel ya, but no, I've got good stuff.

Speaker 1: 18:59

Let's talk about glimmers. Let's talk about happy ship. So what a glimmer is? Exact opposite of a trigger. A glimmer refers to a positive stimulus or experience that evokes a sense of joy, comfort or wellbeing. It can be something that inspires a positive emotional response leading to feelings of happiness, relaxation or safety. For example, seeing a beautiful sunset, hearing a favorite song or smelling a comforting scent can be considered glimmers.

Speaker 1: 19:25

I'm gonna read to you some of my glimmers, and this is what I want you to do while you have the time this week or whenever you can Sit down and create a list of your glimmers. Do you have memories since, anything that evokes a joyful emotion? That's just not every day, you know oh well, I've sat down at dinner with my family but something that hits you deep in the feels that you just can't forget, like you can close your eyes and you can be in that moment again. It's that ingrained in your brain. You're gonna make a list of those glimmers and then what you're gonna do is you're gonna go through it and you're gonna see any common things and I can guarantee you most of y'all are not going to have glimmers about work or ex-asshole husband and you're gonna see is there any common themes here? Like maybe this is what I should be doing, maybe you know I should spend more time doing this. Maybe this is where my joy comes from. Maybe I should create 2024 with more of these glimmers. So let me just tell you some of them. I'm not gonna read the whole list here, because some of them I wanna keep private and some of them are like triple X right, it's what they're not gonna be on here, but I wanna give you an idea of what I'm talking about, because this is such a powerful practice when you sit down and you do this, because it's also it puts you in a good mood and it makes you wanna seek out and find these things again, because it's truly like I can go back to any of these memories and I just I'm back there and it feels good and it instantly lifts my mood, raising my vibration. So the first one I wanna talk about is the first time I went to Harry Potter World with my daughter Addy.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Now, most of my glimmers happen after my divorce. There's a handful that happened before, but it was like right before my divorce when I started doing things for myself and figuring out okay, I've got to be a little bit more independent, and this is one of them. I went on vacation to Harry Potter World in Orlando with my daughter and my ex-husband and my ex-husband I've talked about narcissists on vacation. He didn't really want anything to do with us, so he did not wanna go eat breakfast with us this morning, which is okay with me, because he made everything miserable. So my daughter and I woke up early, we went to Harry Potter World and we sat and I think it was the Leaky Cauldron or three brimsticks, I can't remember. We had butter, beer and these beef pasty breakfast thingies like a hand pie and no one was there. Hardly, because we went right at we had the tickets where you can get an hour before the public, so barely anyone was there. So we had the park to ourselves, it felt like.

Speaker 1: 22:28

And then they have this thing where if you buy a wand that is from Universal and it's like one of their special ones, you can stand on these little points in Harry Potter World and wave that wand. A certain way you have to follow like the directions on these little cutout things they have etched into the sidewalk and you can make, you can cast a spell, and it'll do something like in a shop window or something like, say I don't know, I forget what they look like, but say you're looking in a bookshop and you cast a spell and you wave your wand and the books go flying in the window. And we just took our time. We ate our breakfast and we went around and we casted spells. Casted or cast spells Is casted a word, oh my God, I don't know. We cast spells and it was so much fun and it was such a relief for me and her to take our time, not be rushed, because I don't know if this is like a typical abuser thing, probably but he used to always rush us, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up and it would make me and her both anxious and actually that's still one of our triggers. We don't like being rushed, but we just took our time, we cast spells, we had butterbeer and it was just me and her and it was so amazing and it was so peaceful and it was just. It was a glimmer that's always gonna be in my head.

Speaker 1: 23:50

There's also another one on vacation with her when it was just me and her. It was her eighth birthday and we go to Navar, florida, every year. We didn't go this past year because we did the big, huge California trip, but we go to Navar every year and we stay in the same condo and this trip was the first trip where it was just me and her, because it was her eighth birthday and I didn't know it at the time. But my ex did not want to go because he had a side piece, of course. He said he just was too busy at work and he didn't want to go. But who turns down a trip to the beach? A man as a fucking around, all right, and so he didn't go and of course I was heartbroken and she was too, because it was her birthday.

Speaker 1: 24:42

But and she still brings us up but you know what it was a blessing in the skies because even though I wanted that whole family thing, I knew it would be bad because it was we got in our most violent fights on vacation. So I'm glad he didn't go, but we had an amazing time just me and her, and I was terrified because I didn't think I could pull off a vacation driving it takes like seven, eight hours driving driving by myself with a little kid, a little eight year old, you know, doing everything by myself. And I did and I was so proud of it, and it was our first peaceful vacation. We did whatever we wanted and we had so much fun. There was no screaming, no yelling, no rushing, and one thing we did was we went to the grocery store and we got like 10 different little pints of ice cream and we came back and it was her birthday and I was like ice cream taste test and we opened them all up and we were like ranking these ice cream flavors and she still talks about that today.

Speaker 1: 25:48

So that was a glimmer for me, but I know it was a glimmer for her too. It was so much fun Y'all. It was just ice cream taste test and we're at the beach and probably a lot of it was. It was our first time alone and away from him and just having fun and peace and not being scared, and it really really opened my eyes to hey, I can do this, I can be independent, and it feels so good, oh, feels so good. So ice cream taste test in Navar and eating breakfast in Harry Potter World both glimmers for me and I'm sure if I sat and I thought about it maybe I could dig up some more before my divorce. But I've tried and I don't want to spend too much energy on it because I feel like my life didn't start till after my divorce and so most of my glimmers come after that.

Speaker 1: 26:40

I have one where it was the day my ex-husband moved out and he was gone and I locked the door after him and I walked around my house so proud of myself. I felt like a bad ass bitch. I fucking won. It was a battle. All my divorce was a battle. I'm going to do an episode on it one day, but I won and I had been so beaten down and it was all worth it. I was standing on my stairs and I have a staircase that kind of overlooks like a great room and I felt so hard to keep my house so me and my kid could have a roof over our head, and I fucking won. That felt amazing, just standing there and knowing it was over and locking that door after him and having my home for my kid and I and having like just security and stability or at least building to the life of stability. Right, because that's my enough and that is a glimmer for me. I remember that feeling. I remember doing that and I was also like the world's man, I'm going to go find me a hot dude, and I did.

Speaker 1: 28:02

But first I got a tattoo. I got a tattoo of a key on my arm to remind me that I am the key to my own life, success, control everything. I'm not going to be in a cage anymore. I was in a cage a long time and I'm the key to that cage and the keys got an A on it for my daughter's initial and while I was getting those tattoo I saw my gosh. I'm not even going to know the singer. It's Everlong. You know if you're a nannies child, everlong. That song is my favorite song in the world. It always comes on, like in these moments in my life where I'm like I could be at. You know, one time it came on when I was again on another alone trip and I was eating on the beach and just kind of vibing and it came on and that was like going through my divorce. And then it came on when I was getting this tattoo and it just comes on for like when I need it most and it has a lot of meaning for me. So that's another glimmer. When I was getting this tattoo and my song came on and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm free, yeah. And then lots of glimmers after that. I'm just going to give you like two more so you can kind of get an idea of what to look for in your glimmers. And let's see, I'm looking through here.

Speaker 1: 29:29

All right, when I first went to California, we stayed, we went to a US committee and this is the trip my husband and I took when we got married, because you know, we did the elopement thing. We stayed at a place called Rush Creek Lodge and we've since been back to it another time, beautiful Lodge. We were in the hallway there and it was a long hallway and it's got like all these cut timbers going up to the top and the weather is freaking amazing in Northern California, you know that, and it's just beautiful and I'm like I'm in California. I never thought I'd go to California. I'm in California, I've seen some stuff at US committee that I never thought I'd see before in my life. I'm free, I'm newly married and this song came on.

Speaker 1: 30:14

I guess a lot of mine goes back to music and also, since I have like a gray hound nose Wait, is it a gray hound? No, a blood hound nose and it's a song and I tried to look it up for y'all and I don't know how to pronounce it. I'm going to pronounce it wrong. Probably Maybe it's called Amore Fatty, it's probably not a Fatty, maybe it's Foddy, I don't know. It doesn't sound right either. A-m-o-r. And then another word, f-a-t-i. It's by Washed Out and it's just got this like California sunny vibe, like kind of a croony, whatever. But I heard it and we're standing in the hallway about to go eat out on this beautiful patio and have cocktails and right outside US committee and I was like man, this just making me feel a certain way, so I'd cazamed it I think that's what it's called and I added it to my playlist and anytime I want to go back to that moment I play this song. I also did get some. Rush Creek Lodge has a line of like lotions and shampoos and stuff that they use there that smells like a pine forest. It smells so good, so I'll load it up on that and I do use that too in my shower and I'll, just before I get the shower, almost every time I shower, I'll put it on my hands and I'll just smell it and I'll have a moment that I'm back at Rush Creek Lodge and I do that also with a song. Like I want to go back to California. I turn on that song and I just it's a glimmer. I remember everything about that moment. So that's one of my glimmers, and let's see what can I close out here with? Now I'll do two more, because these are good.

Speaker 1: 31:55

I went to New Orleans and I was in Jackson Square and we were my husband and I were waiting on a tour. It was a vampire tour and it was a full moon out right over Jackson Square and there was a street musician on I think it was a saxophone, playing Lavey and Rose. It does not get any more Nola and romantic than that. And it was a beautiful night, the beautiful full moon ahead and the skies playing Lavey and Rose, and it was Lavey and Rose. It was a Lavey and Rose moment for me and I I freaking love it. That's etched in my brain for forever and a memory like I hope I never forget, because that it's a glimmer, y'all it's a glimmer.

Speaker 1: 32:45

And last, let's see what can I pick out of this one? You know I have a lot of travel which brings me back to notice if there's any themes in your stuff and I'm going to get to that in a second. But this one is kind of personal to me and I wrote about it in my you're not stuck book. It's. I think this is one of my only solo ones, but I had just started my self-transformation journey on the whole spiritual thing and stuff and vibing.

Speaker 1: 33:21

And again, I was waking up at five and it was dark outside and I was in the middle of a summer storm and I was riding my bike and it wasn't raining yet but it was a lightning overhead. Not the smartest thing to be riding a bike in a lightning storm, but it felt otherworldly, it felt amazing. Everyone was asleep, it was quiet, it was dark, the sun hadn't risen and there was just lightning scattering all overhead. And I was just going full steam ahead on my bike and the rush of energy I felt, the solitude I felt and just the magic, the magic of my. What I had been going through, what I had been doing is I was doing this whole.

Speaker 1: 34:03

That's when I started like first the law of attraction and alignment stuff, and I was seeing like angel numbers everywhere and stuff was falling into place. Like you know, I got my job and oh my gosh, just I was having these signs everywhere and that was like kind of a. It was like reassuring to me that I was on the right path, because it felt. It just felt like this universe was just giving me this show and I was by myself. I didn't. I don't have that memory to share with anyone. That one just lives alone in me. And it was such a significant moment in my life.

Speaker 1: 34:40

I wanna chase getting back to that. I wanna do it again, like how can I ride my bike before dawn in this lightning storm again? How can I recreate that? I don't know, but I wish I could. It sticks with me, it's a glimmer. I would love to get back to that energy and I chased it. And that's the point of glimmers, because you wanna figure out how can I get to this energy? You know, like every day, like how can you? How can you feel the joy you feel when you write down this list and you think of all your glimmers? How can you feel that more often? Well, for me, going through my list and I have a lot more on here it's mostly travel, which I know. I gotta get out of Tennessee because, like you know how I feel about Tennessee, but mine's travel and being in nature and I think a lot of people are gonna say that because we've lost so much touch with nature, y'all. I mean, we're not meant to be in front of screens all day, we're meant to be by the ocean.

Speaker 1: 35:42

And I was just looking up Houses on Zillow. Because I do this as part of my like wind down routine a lot, I'll just browse Houses on Zillow and I saw one that was on Cannon Beach recently in Oregon. I've never seen a house so close to the beach before. This literally opened up to the beach and it was like steps from a freaking huge ass. What do they call them? Smoke sacks or something. You know how Oregon coast is rocky. It was beautiful, y'all it was beautiful. I was like, oh my gosh, I would buy it, pete, if I had $3.5 million life. I'm ready to manifest that house.

Speaker 1: 36:22

But obviously my joys, my glimmers, are not work related. They're not even publishing related. They're not even like I'm sure one day, if I, I don't know, I'm like a speaker on something, like a TED Talk or something, that's definitely gonna be a glimmer for me. I'm getting, I wanna get there, I'm trying to get there, I'm trying to get to that point. But I can see now, like my work's not glimmers, like my past marriage, there's no glimmers there. The glimmers are traveling and spending time with my family, solitude and just being in nature, and it's not even well.

Speaker 1: 37:04

I did have that one accomplishment of no two accomplishments of me becoming independent. You know it meant a lot to me back then because I was not independent, obviously I was stuck in a relationship, but also winning after the divorce and being done with it. So I guess I could say that those are accomplishments, but no professional accomplishments, and they're, even though I've written and published 20 books. That's not a glimmer for me and that makes me feel good right, because I wanna be fulfilled and we talked about that, but it's not a glimmer. So I'm going to personally keep writing my glimmers out and try to figure out how I can make more and tailor my life to what this list is showing me, which is obviously travel and being in nature, and hopefully one day I can be in a place where I feel like I can create these memories more easily, instead of flying across the country, cause we don't have the shit I need here in the South.

Speaker 1: 38:08

I was gonna say the good old South, but I ain't playing games here. I ain't the good old South and I don't know anything good about this place except the barbecue. So I'm gonna work on that and you work on it too, and I'm so excited to see what your glimmers are and for you to figure out now that you don't have to be so lost on what. I don't know what brings me joy, I don't know what makes me happy, and if you're having trouble finding glimmers, that's okay, cause if you're stuck in a toxic relationship, like I said, I think I only have two before I got out of my marriage, and those two were me being alone and with my daughter, you know, and I didn't get to do that much, and that's okay, cause you have glimmers waiting for you on the other side. You have a life that you can create. You are the key to your cage and you're gonna feel so amazing, so amazing when you start making your glimmers, because my life and I always say this, I'm gonna say it again did not start until after my marriage.

Speaker 1: 39:16

It didn't. I didn't have the best childhood and then I was, you know, in this marriage for over 15 years and I just I didn't my, I was under control pretty much my entire life until my divorce. And my life started then and I'm so excited. It's never too late. Please don't let your life pass you by. I mean, don't sit and wait for someone to come save you. You have to save yourself. Y'all know this by now, if you've been listening to me. So go out there, get your glimmers, take action. There's no time. That's going to be perfect. You just have to do it. So that's all I have.

Speaker 1: 40:00

Happy Thanksgiving. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I am grateful for you. Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful for you. I'm grateful for your support and y'all please be grateful for yourself, because this life's hard. If you're on this journey, it's hard. Give yourself some grace and I will be around and I hope to see you on the other side. Let me know how the list making goes. Thank you so much for listening.

Speaker 1: 40:27

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