You're Not Stuck
From rom-com author to women empowerment advocate, Kat Addams guides women on the enlightened path to becoming unstuck. As a domestic abuse survivor, she tackles the nitty-gritty of what it takes to liberate yourself and embark on a journey to freedom from miserable situations. Kat’s no bull-shit approach to self-transformation includes shameless insights, progressive practices, and spiritual growth with a heavy dose of humor and f-bombs. If you’re looking for a sign to leave, this is it. You’re not stuck. Join the journey and start taking charge of your life by listening now. New episodes drop every Monday to start your week off strong. Also, Mondays suck. Kat's here to make it better.
You're Not Stuck
Manifesting Your Best Life: Recognizing Intrusive Thoughts and Limiting Beliefs
In today's episode, we're discussing intrusive thoughts and limiting beliefs, and how these things could be blocking you from manifesting your best life. If you feel stuck on your law of attraction journey, or you struggle with self-doubt, this episode is for you! You're not going to attract the life of your dreams if you believe you don't deserve it. So, listen in as dispel those myths and call bullshit.
Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
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It's time to wake up witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that, no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. Hello again, and welcome back to the year not stuck Podcast. And I'm in a good mood today because I'm actually recording this on a Friday night and I never do that because I'm usually too tired at night to do jack shit, and that's still the case for tonight. But I really do not want to work this weekend. So I usually record like Saturday morning, sunday morning, but I want to do that. So I'm trying to do it Friday night and my daughter is in her room playing video games and I asked my husband. I was like what are you so? What are you gonna do? What are your plans? He said, stay out of your way. He knows I need to get work done. And that's him encouraging me to Get my ish done. And also, he, he takes care of me so I can do the damn thing.
Speaker 1:I had a very busy week at work and this morning I was on meeting after meeting, after meeting, because that's my life and he just came and set a sandwich down beside me, trying to keep me alive. Here I'm like I'm lucky, I'm lucky. I'm lucky. I'm lucky Because I need support in my life, especially with the work I do, and this week it was some challenging work, because I've mentioned it before that I work in a trauma niche with abuse survivors and trafficking survivors, and I mean a team of I think it's about 50 people now and I don't want to sound whiny, but Sometimes I have to. You know, as a leader, you have to remain positive and negative situations, and Doing that with 50 people is really rough because a lot of times you're gonna look like the bad guy, no matter what, because you're just doing what you have to do and you have to look like the bad guy sometimes. And I don't want to be the bad guy and I don't like that. So I take it personally and it causes me to get in a funk. So I've been in a funk this week because of that and some other things that was happening. Very stressful things work wise. And Then I had to meet up with.
Speaker 1:I had to meet up with someone. All right, this is gonna be a quick and dirty lesson Listen to your gut, all right, always listen to your gut. There's even a book on this. I think it's called the I think it's called the gift of fear and and it's all about how we have, like, these alarm bells built into our Beings and we can read people and know when we're in danger. And I don't know the specifics because I didn't read the book, but I know exactly what it's talking about because there has been times in my life when and I've been really good at this ever since my experience with a dangerous man I know People are dangerous and capable of Bad things and I can tell and I can pick up on the behaviors cuz friggin Narcissists, all like read out the same playbook.
Speaker 1:So I had a meet up with someone and I've met up with him before, and the first time I met up with this person I was like, alright, I get the creeps from him, I don't want to be around him, I don't trust him and I think he's capable of some stuff. And I told our mutual verse in that and, sure enough, months later, the bad guy we're not calling him bad guy because he is a bad guy was caught doing some of the things that I had called Right and I was like I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Unfortunately, I had to come into contact with that guy again Rents repeat, I'm not going to get all into it, but same vibes and it was just an uncomfortable situation and it put me in a funk too. So all that was happening funky work, funky personal life and I'm like y'all, I'm supposed to be vibing and manifesting up over here and all these people are getting up in my way. So I kind of had to retreat and recover a little bit and I'm still recovering. But I'm also still doing my vision board stuff, working on my. I'm not going to lie, I've not been meditating. I mean, I guess you could say I've been force bathing, meditating, because I have been taking a lot of walks and working on my mood and working on getting what I want, which is what I'm here to help you with. I hope you are Wabi sobbing too, because what are we doing in this series? We are manifesting a motherfucker up out your life.
Speaker 1:So if you're feeling stuck and you're like man, I don't know where to begin, you begin right here with this podcast and as we speak you're listening to this. It's not. It's not live or anywhere near live, but this week are actually the previous week when you're listening to this, because I did this on the new moon. My arcs went out for the you're not stuck book and so I'm super excited, fingers crossed everybody likes it and gives me good reviews, because those bad reviews in the early days hurt, so if you don't have something nice to say, just shut your mouth. I'm just kidding Kind of a little bit. I don't know, I'm just be nice, be nice. So I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1:And I also applied to be a guest on a podcast and I was accepted. But I have not gotten links to any of that yet so I can't expand on it. But oh my gosh, like that's going to be freaking amazing for me if I can do that. So that's kind of stuff I'm going to work on while we're working on manifesting your best life and getting rid of that mofo. You can't stand. Like I said, you can read the book. It's coming out in October for National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pre-order links are in my little show notes bio and Instagram and TikTok everywhere, everywhere these days.
Speaker 1:Or you can just start at the first of the podcast season, not season. I tried to do seasons and then I didn't know what I was doing. Just start with episode one, keep going, lots of good information because, guess what? You're not stuck, you have to grab your life by the JJ and that shit, because life is freaking amazing when you're not living under the control of a man.
Speaker 1:So let's get on with the show and let's talk a little bit about intrusive thoughts and limiting beliefs, because by now you should be a Wabi Sabian, you should be forest bathing, you should be meditating, you should be writing down your gratitude, your affirmations, you should be imagining life as a woman who is free to make her own choices and not stuck in a miserable situation, whether that's a relationship, your career, whatever. But that's not easy, right? I'm not going to play like that's easy, that's hard. I can tell you all day long lay down and visualize your dream home with your dream man, lay down and visualize what your single life is going to look like, what all those tender dates are going to look like, or whatever floats your boat. But I'm not doing the work for you, so it's easy for me to say it, but I've been there and I know it's hard. This is some tough shit. And when you're in the midst of doing all this work, you're going to encounter something called intrusive thoughts and limiting beliefs. And let me reach you what both of those mean and how you can stop doing that, because that's going to make the process of you manifesting your best life even slower, if not stop it altogether.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, speaking of intrusive thoughts, I'm having some intrusive thoughts about my family because I have had a pause of so many times because they lied. They are not staying out of my way. This is probably the last time I'm going to record this on a Friday. Oh my gosh. Okay, intrusive thoughts. What are those? Intrusive thoughts is basically thoughts that are distressing you.
Speaker 1:Let me read you the definition here. It says intrusive thoughts are unwelcome in voluntary thoughts, images or ideas that might become obsessions in some people. These thoughts can be disturbing, but they are common among the general population. They might involve violent fantasies, fears of acting inappropriately or other content that fills out of character. But my experience as a victim of domestic violence and this is not going to relate to everyone listening but if you have ever experienced PTSD, like stuff from trauma, your intrusive thoughts are probably going to come from triggers. So you can think of an intrusive thought as being like for me, a traumatic event that replays in my head. So something triggers my intrusive thoughts.
Speaker 1:I had this obviously a lot while I was married, but even in the recovery process after divorce, when you're healing, oh my gosh, like any little thing could trigger intrusive thoughts and it brought me back into a place where I was scared, I was worried, I was nervous, I felt like I was being watched again or I felt like I was going to get hurt again or yada, yada, yada. And obviously when we're talking about law of attraction and like attracts, like you can't have yourself thinking those things and feeling the emotions that go with those thoughts If you ever want to grow and get ahead and get where you want to go. So recognize when you have intrusive thoughts, thoughts that are overwhelming you, thoughts that are making you feel bad. I'm trying to think like I just looked it up online and most of it's like violent fantasies and you know those types of intrusive thoughts and I mean, if you're having those yes, issue two you gotta cut that shit out. But I'm just relating it into what I have seen as a victim and for victims and anyone who has experienced trauma, it's just like triggering thoughts that make you feel really bad.
Speaker 1:Memories or something that you're overthinking and worrying about will happen to you Death. Death is actually one that's pretty common because you're so. If you have intrusive thoughts about death, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm, you know I'm gonna die one day or my husband's gonna die one day, and you're constantly thinking about someone dying. You can't worry about that stuff. It goes back to living in the present moment. You can't overthink, you can't worry, you can't do any of that stuff because it's not gonna serve you. You have to live your life now, for today.
Speaker 1:So, like when I was going through recovery from my divorce and what had happened to me, I was having all these intrusive thoughts and I had to stop and say I'm not living that right now. And if you wanna get really deep and talk about recovering in a relationship, I had to do a lot of. My new boyfriend, who is now my husband D is not my ex, he's not going to do this and I had to learn that and believe it because I was having unhealthy behaviors. Like you know, I don't trust this man right, because in the past my ex obviously did not trust him, which was extremely warranted. But I can't put that on everybody else just because that was my experience. You know you have to give everybody a chance. And I had those intrusive thoughts Like, oh well, you know, he's probably lying to me or he's doing this because of this, and that was not fair to him. It was very unhealthy.
Speaker 1:So, to sum it up, get rid of your intrusive thoughts. They are not serving you and they're not gonna get you where you're wanting to go. They are not gonna manifest that mofo out your life or help you in your growth process. So recognize them and get rid of them. But I also don't want you to feel ashamed for them, because it is a normal trauma response and it's just a normal human thing to have those thoughts every now and then. And again, if you're a victim, you're probably gonna have them a lot and that's okay. It's okay to seek help and therapy. I went to a therapist and, oh my gosh, I can imagine where I'd be today if I didn't go through therapy after what happened. So seek help if you feel like you need to seek help. Otherwise, the first step is just recognizing and then stopping switching gears. Take your mind off of it with anything Wabi sabi, forest bathing switch just which directions and live in the present moment. Think is this affecting me now? Am I living this thought out now. Is this something in the future that I cannot control and if so, like let it go? Just let it go. So if you're finding yourself stuck on your manifestation, it could be because intrusive thoughts and the next thing, which is one of my favorite topics, is limiting beliefs. That could also be a pitfall in your manifestation journey. So let me read to you what exactly limiting beliefs are.
Speaker 1:Limiting beliefs are deeply held convictions or beliefs that constrain us in some way. They stem from our interpretations of experiences in our life, often from childhood, and might not necessarily be accurate or helpful. These beliefs can limit our potential, preventing us from taking risk, trying new things or pursuing our goals. Examples of limiting beliefs are thinking I'm not good enough, I can't do this, success is for other people, not me. Or I'm just stuck Right, I had to add that last one in there because you're not stuck.
Speaker 1:Limiting beliefs is bullshit.
Speaker 1:That's the bullshit lies.
Speaker 1:You tell yourself it's just bullshit, that is all. Limiting beliefs is Bullshit. So when you're thinking I can't do this, I can't do that, you're bullshitting yourself. You're holding yourself back, you are blocking yourself. The only thing standing in your way is those bullshit-ass limiting beliefs that you tell yourself. So if you tell yourself, oh well, you know, if I get a divorce, I'm not good enough for anyone to ever want me again what you know, that is a lie. Or maybe you don't. Maybe you believe that because you've been brainwashed from your abuser and that's a real thing too. Maybe you do believe you're not good enough. Maybe you do believe you're stuck. Maybe you do believe you can't have this, you can't have that, you can't have a happy life, you can't have a happy marriage, you can't have a career of your dreams, you can't accomplish this, that and the other. And maybe there's been something in your life or someone in your life telling you those things are true. But I'm here to tell you that's bullshit. You are perfectly capable of shaping your life and taking control of your life and the decisions you make and your actions. You can't believe those negative things about yourself, especially when they're not true.
Speaker 1:And again, it's common in trauma victims to think, well, I deserve this. You know, if you go back and listen to the podcast about abuse and how abuse works, abusers will say, well, you made me hit you while you deserved it right. And you might start thinking because you've been told so freaking much that you do deserve that and you don't deserve that at all. You only deserve good things, so don't think you deserved whatever crap you've been given. Or you're worthless, or you can't be safe, or you can't have a peaceful, stable life, or you can't find a job and be financially independent.
Speaker 1:Now that's when I told myself all the time because I was a stay-at-home mom for over 10 years and completely dependent on my ex, and before I became a stay-at-home mom, I wasn't making jack shit. I didn't make any money. And for the longest I told myself I can't survive without my ex-husband. I had to stay married, because how else would I take care of my daughter? I don't earn enough to take care of her where we live. Yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 1:And oh my gosh, I am totally financially independent right now and it only took me like not long at all to get there. Like I never, ever, would have thought I would be in the position I'm in now, like ever. I mean, if you asked me how I got here, oh my gosh, the stars aligned. I believed in myself, I took action. I realized I wasn't stuck and no one was going to save me but me, and I got out and I did the damn thing and, man, it is a priceless feeling to be able to make your own decisions without having to be tied to somebody financially and worried about financial support, like being an independent, financially well-off woman. I recommend it to everybody, like focho, focho.
Speaker 1:So if you're telling yourself, well, I'll never be able to have my dream house, it's gonna be too expensive, I'm not gonna be able to ever afford that, how would I? You're telling the universe too that you're just not ready and it's not gonna work with you. If you're not ready, if you're not open to receiving abundance and all the good things, you're not gonna get it. That's just not how it works. Remember, like tracks, like you need to believe, you need to get in the right emotional mindset of believing I can do this. I can divorce my asshole husband and start a life, a new life, a new beginning, a safe life, a secure life for me and my family. You know I can become financially independent and find a good job. It's not gonna happen overnight.
Speaker 1:And is it a hard road to travel and get there? Hell yeah, full of challenges. Hell yeah, full of setbacks. Hell yeah, it's not a straight and narrow path. You're gonna be going like in circles and zigzags and all kinds of shit to get there, but it's so worth it. So quit feeding yourself the bullshit. That's what we're gonna call limit and beliefs. Okay, it's the bullshit, because it's complete bullshit and you're better than that.
Speaker 1:And if you also find yourself asking well, how, how would that happen for me? I mean, come on, how would I get a million dollars to build my dream home? It doesn't matter how. Don't worry about the how. That's an intrusive thought. You can go down a rabbit hole with overthinking that how. It just happens. Like I never thought I would be where I'm at. Like, if I even try to begin to explain the how, man, it's like everything falling into place at once. It just worked, it just found a way. You're gonna end up where you're going. But you're not gonna end up where you're going if you sit on your ass and don't do anything about it because the bullshit.
Speaker 1:And maybe that sounds harsh, because I know I've said this before in another podcast, I can't remember which one and I feel like I am being a little bit harsh by saying you just you gotta freaking do it, you gotta believe it. Don't give yourself excuses, but it's the truth. It's a hard truth that people need to hear and you don't wanna hear it and I understand. I didn't wanna hear it either. But, man, once you really take that advice to heart and you make the choice not to believe those things about yourself, your life is gonna start changing and you're gonna feel freaking good. And when you feel good and you're working through all this manifestation stuff, you're gonna attract good and I can't freaking wait to see what everyone attracts, or this new life you create for yourself. Oh my gosh, you find your smile again. Y'all it is. It's amazing. It's worth the battle.
Speaker 1:Before I close this podcast out, I wanna talk about something that's a little bit touchy with the law of attraction that I don't agree with. And we say like attracts like and I get that. And it makes sense when you say well, you know you believe that you can't get a partner, that's good. So you keep falling for douchebags, you keep falling for the men that have red flags because you believe that's all you're capable of, and I agree with that. I do agree with that.
Speaker 1:What I don't agree with and some people interpret the law of attraction this way. I do not is you are attracting abuse Like it's your fault. The abuse is coming to you because you're attracting it. And let me just clear this up Abuse is never your fault. Violence against you or your loved ones is never your fault. People are in charge of their own behavior. So don't ever believe that.
Speaker 1:If you hear someone using the law of attraction in this way to blame you for abusive situations, that is more bullshit and absolutely wrong. So I know that's controversial, because I've seen it before. I've seen like gurus talking about it and I just want to be like bitch. Are you kidding me? What the fuck? What a privileged ass life you must have lived. Nah, that's not going to be what this podcast is about.
Speaker 1:This podcast is about helping you grow and feel good in using these tools in a way to further your beautiful life that's coming to you and empower you with what you need to make that happen. Not to make you feel bad about yourself and though a ditches rant about you feeding yourself bullshit. So, yeah, I guess you know. Yeah, I try. At least I ain't an asshole about it. Okay, at least I don't think I am. I don't know. I asked my team this week how to be a total asshole. But you don't deserve misery if you're living in misery and you can absolutely, absolutely attract better things in your life because you are worth it. I don't know if anyone's told you that lately, but I'm going to tell you you're worth so much more and you're capable of making your life, your children's life in this world, a better place, because I believe in you and I have seen transformations in women who have gone down this journey and emerged on the other side.
Speaker 1:And I love bringing it back to the analogy of the caterpillars who completely dismantled themselves in their cocoon and turned into a pallid goo to become a butterfly. You're the goo. I'm sorry to tell you, but you are some damn goo. Or maybe you're still in your caterpillar phase, you're too afraid to turn into the goo. But the goo is the good part, because that's where you grow and that's how you get your wings and you fly away from that motherfucker and you create a stable, peaceful life for you and your loved ones. So you're not stuck. Kick those limiting beliefs and intrusive thoughts to the curb. You're not serving you. You're not going to go anywhere on your law of attraction journey and just your self-growth journey. So make sure you recognize it, stop it and I'll see you on the other side. Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1:If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these words, because so many women are feeling stuck. Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the gram at author Kat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website and that's katadomsadamswitha-double-d'scom. Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. So when you subscribe, you're going to get free novella. And just be forewarned, my Aranchi romcom is as dirty as my mouth. So if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious. But thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side.
