You're Not Stuck

The Art of Romanticizing Life: The Boujee AF Vibes to Upgrade Your Life

• Kat Addams • Episode 30

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Imagine transforming your everyday life into a lavish experience, by merely romanticizing your routine and embracing a touch of luxury. What would it feel like to wake up in a home that feels like a luxurious sanctuary, scented with the aroma of redwood forests, a visualization of your dream life? I'll tell you--- it feels boujee AF. Today, I'm sharing my lux life habits and current favorites that I use in my manifestation journey.  If you want to feel like the queen you are, put on your fancy pants and listen up. It's time to elevate your life.

As promised- Boujee AF links-

Aromatech Hotel Scent

Aromatech Love Affair

Aromatech Redwood Nocturne

Himalayan Diffuser

Uplight Mood lighting

Harry Potter Floating Candles

Handbag Vase



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Speaker 1:

It's time to wake up witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that, no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. I am back and I am in this celebratory mood because it is Maybon week and I probably mispronounced that, but it's the autumn, equinox festivals, so we are hunkering down in our little cave and making cider, braised chicken and baked brie and living the fall, autumn vibes, basic bitch, pumpkin, spice life, because that is life. Right, it's so freaking amazing. It is my favorite time of year and I am taking advantage of it to the extreme, which is the topic of this podcast today, and I'm so excited to share with you some of this stuff. But then I'm also a little like do I want to talk about this because it's bougie? It is bougie.

Speaker 1:

This is the bougie episode of romanticizing your life. And you might be thinking why are you talking about romanticizing your life? I thought this is about domestic violence, and then you're doing law of attraction. Guess what bitches. It's my podcast and I can do it all, just kidding. No, it all ties together. Well, let me explain how we're doing the whole law of attraction series for those who might need a little bit of extra magic and help in their life on getting rid of a motherfucker without going the hex and route. Or, if you want to, I've got news for you there too. But back to law of attraction and empowering yourself to leave a situation goes back to feeling the joyous emotions that you will feel when you're finally out of that situation and bringing those emotions to the present now moment so you can have high vibes and attract those same emotions and that goal for your future to you, and I hope that made sense.

Speaker 1:

But romanticizing your life is my freaking favorite way to get there. Basically, live it now and I've talked about that before in certain ways. Like, go buy your outfit You're going to wear on that first date when you're finally single. Go take yourself out for coffee and fantasize what that first date is going to look like for you. Or maybe you don't want to date another man, and hey, I don't blame you. Maybe you want to switch teams, maybe you want to date a woman. What's that going to look like? I don't know. I'm just throwing ideas out there for you to visualize and feel the emotions you're going to feel when you get to those things you're manifesting, when they actually happen. Like, live it now, feel it now and now. That brings me to romanticize in your life in the luxurious way, and I know we've done some episodes and we've got future episodes coming about, romanticizing your life with slow living and things like that.

Speaker 1:

But no, no, this episode is all about shopping because, much to the detriment of my checking account, I've been shopping a lot lately and I freaking love to shop and I'm going to post some of this stuff that I've got on somewhere. I wonder if I can do like an Amazon shop or something I don't know. I'm going to figure that out because I am an affiliate, so I recommend stuff all the time. I should be making money, right. I'm going to figure that out. If I mention a product, I'll put it in the notes somehow if you're interested in it.

Speaker 1:

But let me explain to you some of the things I've been buying to romanticize my life and to live the life I want now, even though there may be things that I want more, like the thing I talk about all the time moving to Oregon, right. Which brings me to what I have been romanticizing lately and I'm freaking in love with it. And, if you don't already know, romanticizing your life is basically just like living a good life. Now, you know, taking pleasure in the little things, and I take pleasure in the little things, but you know what? We can take pleasure in the big things too. We can take pleasure in the expensive things and I know it's like, oh, nobody can afford anything these days and that's why I was like, hey man, I drink my orange juice out of a wine glass because it makes me feel fancy as fuck and it makes me feel good. So that was not a very expensive upgrade at all. I literally just poured my orange juice in a wine glass. Pour it in a champagne glass, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Do whatever makes you feel good, do what makes you feel bougie. I like to feel fancy and bougie as fuck, and you know I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore. If you've seen my house, it is very dramatic. I have big black walls and furry white bougie carpets and a dramatic white your majesty bed. And I didn't get all that shit overnight, okay, hell, no, it took me a long time to get everything I have. I am, you know, I'm very lucky to have what I have and very grateful for it, but I don't want to spend this podcast talking about like oh, you know well, I worked hard for this stuff. Yeah, I worked hard for all of it and I'm gonna freaking tell you about all of it and how you should also be living this good life, and I'm going off on a tangent. I do that. I do that. Let's get started with number one.

Speaker 1:

My current obsession is smells. Normally this time of year I break out my fall candles, I go to Bath Body Works, I get that leaf scent, I go get all the plugins and I feel my house with candle smells and like fall smells. I freaking love it. Favorite time of year, favorite scents. But this year I kind of a little bougie with it.

Speaker 1:

I bought some essential oils that smell like luxurious things. The first one I'm obsessed with is it's supposed to smell like a hotel, and not just any hotel. Apparently, there's a fancy hotel in Miami called like the Wine or something and it smells like that. I don't know, I've never been there, but I do know. When I go into fancy hotels I'm like Tampa smells good. It smells good because they put these scents through their HVAC system. It goes throughout your entire house or their entire hotel.

Speaker 1:

You can buy them for your house. They're expensive as shit. I don't have one of those yet. I'm working my way up. Right now I only got the oil and I'm putting it in my diffuser, so my house smells like a fancy hotel. Now you can buy other diffusers that will put this scent around like 1500 square feet. If you want more than that, you're going to have to upgrade to the more expensive stuff. I think the 1500 square feet one is like around $400. And then I think the one that's like diffuses, since around 3000 square feet, it's more a thousand or something, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I don't have one of those yet again, it's on the list. I just wanted to try out these scents and a diffuser to make sure. I liked it and I freaking love it. I freaking love it. So I have the hotel scent and then I bought a scent called Love Affair which is supposed to be like some knockoff of some super bougie rouge, something perfume. I don't know, not when I put in my bedroom, because I read you're supposed to have a different scent for your bedroom and I'm going to get into bedroom stuff here in a minute and not the sexy bedroom stuff, although maybe it could be the sexy bedroom. Anyways, talk about my house, the hotel. One smells freaking amazing Love Affair. In my bedroom it smells super luxurious.

Speaker 1:

And then guess which one they had for sale. Oh my gosh, this told me I'm on the right path and I use it as part of my manifestation. It is called I don't remember something about redwoods, redwoods, and y'all know that's where my heart lies, in the redwoods over in Northern California, oregon coast, and that's where I want to go, and I'm like what I can make my house smell like redwood forest? Yes, bitch, please give me 10 of them. So I added all these to my cart and I got them and I freaking love every one of them. And now I'm like I need more. I need more and I need that big ass diffuser that hooks up to my HVAC and puts all this in my house. So highly recommend Sense to put you in the all the feels bougie ass mood. Like I said, I use the redwood stuff and part of my manifesting because I want to get there. That's where I want to move, that's where I want to live, and if I pop that shit in my diffuser and I go soak in my bathtub, I'm already there In my head. I'm already there Like attracts, like right. I'm there, so it's coming, I know it's coming, I feel it, and that is just one thing.

Speaker 1:

Another thing I've been obsessed with lately is lighting. I love atmospheric lighting, so I have those Lifix bulbs in my and in most of my rooms and those can be turned on to do, like you know, a beach scene or sunset or sunrise, and it the colors change to give you that feel. Now I hate to say it, but most of my Lifix bulbs freaking suck and they won't connect to my phone anymore. So I can't use them as much, which it's so frustrating. Y'all those bulbs are so freaking expensive. They're pieces of shit. I can't recommend them. If there's another brand I think there's another brand out there, I think there's several that you can connect to your phone with an app and you can, you know, do all this mood lighting with. Highly recommend that. But you know mine's not working. So I'm trying other methods, cheaper methods, because I'm not going to buy all those bulbs again for my house. They're ridiculously expensive.

Speaker 1:

So I bought many up lights and I use them in areas where I want to, like, I guess, showcase something. So, like I have a couple of plants, I have one of those fiddly fig trees and I put one over there. And then I have this fake white bougie tree and I put one over there and it makes a huge difference, like at night. Now I want to get all cozy, so I do my mood lighting and I put my candles on. Or because I have a lot of battery operated candles where you just turn on with a remote and right now also have these battery operated candles that are hanging from the ceiling because, you know, already decorated for Halloween, so they're like the Harry Potter taper candles and you wave a wand and they freaking turn on and they flicker and shit. It's amazing. So I put all these like lights on All my candles, my battery operated stuff.

Speaker 1:

I have my little I'm looking at it now my little tiny little lamps around the house and then my up lights and it's just so cozy in here and so nice and it makes me feel like I don't know, just like this is. Is this how rich people live? I don't know. Do they have all this lighting? I don't know. It was super cheap. These up lights was like two for $25 and they make a world of difference in my house and how I feel in my house. Definitely try it. That is a bougie, but cheap bougie upgrade.

Speaker 1:

More bougie stuff is creating sanctuaries. In my first sanctuary I started in my bathroom and it's like a work in progress. Still, I want to redo my bathroom so freaking bad and just make it like the bathroom of my dreams. But then I'm like no, because I want the bathroom of my dreams to be like an Oregon and I want to spend my money there. So it's frustrating as shit, but I can still make little upgrades to make that my sanctuary and make me feel like freaking amazing. So I did start with my bathroom and I have things in there that help me on my self-care Sundays because I do that some in myself Sunday where I check in with myself and I'm basically having a seance for one for me.

Speaker 1:

And what I have now is I have a big bathtub and I use bath bombs, obviously, use candles. I put my love affair scent on in there. I have a facial steamer I think I got that for like 20 bucks off Amazon and I like to steam my face. I have in my Amazon cart. I'm about to buy these two things as upgrades A towel warmer like I can't believe I don't have one of those yet A towel warmer and a face cloth steamer, because I want the spa experience in my bathroom. Other things I have is big, like luxurious towels, and I have a shower spray that's eucalyptus. I have the Bath Body Works products that's like stress relieving eucalyptus scent stuff like that, stuff that reminds me of being in a spa. Fancy candles there's candles that you can use that the wax is like soy wax so you can light the candle and then it's got a scented soy wax that you use as a lotion afterwards. Things like that to create a relaxing, peaceful sanctuary for yourself. I also just bought a vase. It's the cutest vase. It looks like a little purse and it put fresh flowers in there.

Speaker 1:

My husband sometimes buys me flowers, but I do most of the shopping around here and I don't expect him to do that. I like to buy myself flowers all the time and I put them in my pretty vase and I keep it on my desk because it makes me smile. Buy yourself flowers, buy a bougie vase. Buy something that makes you feel good, makes you feel luxurious, makes you melt your stress away. Get you a bath bomb. Get you a five dollar bath bomb and go summon yourself in your bathtub. Pour yourself a glass of champagne. That's something I have also started to incorporate sometimes when I do my summon myself thing, because they have those single serve champagne bottles. You can buy them at the liquor store. I think I've even seen them at like Kroger but it's just one bottle. I think you might can get like two glasses out of it. Buy yourself a single bottle of champagne and some flowers, maybe some nice chocolates, and treat yourself, treat yourself.

Speaker 1:

I bought a what is it called? A super nice charcuterie type board when I was in California and I eat off of it I think I mentioned that before too Because it makes me feel fancier, it's luxurious, and I personally like to feel fancier and luxurious and I sometimes feel a lot of guilt about that, like I shouldn't. But you know what? I think it's okay, do you? That shit feels good? And if you don't think like spa time and facials and massages and some bougie shit feels good, then you live in on another planet, because that taking care of yourself, putting yourself off first, freaking feels good.

Speaker 1:

Another thing you can do in the bathroom is get yourself some fresh eucalyptus and tied around your shower head, and I get mine at Trader Joe's. I think it's like five bucks for a bunch. You probably don't need more than one bunch. I'd try two. Three would be better so you can actually get that scent going in your shower. But that's another small, luxurious upgrade. So create a sanctuary in your bathroom if that's where you want to start.

Speaker 1:

I feel like that's the easiest place to start, but also your bedroom. So my bedroom. For the longest. I refuse to have a TV in there. Bedroom is for two things Sleep and get in your sex on, not watching TV. I do have a TV in there right now and I usually do this around fall because I go through this like comfort phase, like exactly what I'm doing right now and I watch this stupid as shit. That just brings me comfort and makes me feel good and has the fall vibes. But normally I do not have any TV in my bedroom and I highly recommend that I only have books, like I don't. My only entertainment in my bedroom is my husband or my books.

Speaker 1:

I also have one of those fake fireplaces. I want to one of those for forever and I had a cousin who was throwing it out. It's like this huge fake fireplace and they're like, yeah, I'm just gonna throw it out. I'm like, no, that's mine. So I put the fake fireplace on every night. It's got a timer. I put my candles on and my bed sheets have to be nice bed sheets, and by nice I mean I actually haven't bought any expensive bed sheets. I'm more of a oh an aesthetic bed sheet person and not even gonna lie right now.

Speaker 1:

For fall I've got mushroom bed sheets, but it makes me happy. It makes me happy when I get into bed. And then I got, like this linen spray I've been making to make my bed smell amazing too, and like when I fluff my sheets and stuff, I squirt it on there and I let it dry a little bit. So when I get into bed I got these crisp, smell good sheets every time I get into bed. So you can also make those upgrades as well.

Speaker 1:

Buy yourself some fun bed sheets or some luxurious bed sheets. I use a satin pillowcase. Now that does make me feel a little bit bougie, but so worth it because it makes your hair not freezing. It's supposed to help you not get wrinkles. Who knows, I don't know. I'm gonna try everything. I'm about to be 40. I'm not gonna be on top of those types of things, so I do that as well.

Speaker 1:

Also, one of the diffusers I just bought is a combo that Salt Rock, the Himalayan pink salt thing, combo with one of those lamps and also diffuser, so it gives you that warm amber light and I have that going in my room or my bathroom. It moves around as well. My daughter is like the first time she saw it. She's like now I need one. So I had a buyer, I wanted to. But they also have light bulbs that give that amber light out because they're full of that Himalayan salt. I have not bought one yet.

Speaker 1:

Again, it's in my cart, it's coming and the basic overview of what I'm trying to tell you to do to romanticize your life in this luxurious way that doesn't have to cost a fortune all the time. Of course it can, it totally can. I can tell you some real expensive shit. Like I said, that diffuser I want for your age of access to them is well over $1,000. But I'm basically just telling you how to make your house comfy, cozy and feel like a space you want to be in. And if you're in a shitty marriage right now, I understand you might not want to be in that house with that person and that's what makes you need in your own space.

Speaker 1:

Even more important and let me use myself as an example of what I had to do when I was going through my divorce. My ex would not leave until the very last day and the papers that he said he could live here. It was horrific, y'all. It was horrific living in the same house with someone who had erratic behavior like that while you're going through a divorce Horrible, oh my gosh, like I think I've blocked a lot of it out, but when I was going through that, I used to go upstairs. I used to go upstairs into the guest room Anytime. I heard those keys in the door, right, I had to go upstairs and I sat in this comfy chair. It's an ugly chair. I call it ugly chair. If you've seen my Instagrams when I used to write, you might recognize this, because it's the chair I did all my writing in and I was like I'm in an ugly chair today.

Speaker 1:

Ugly chair was my safe space. Ugly chair was my sanctuary and it was just a chair in the corner of the guest room where I could shut the door and I could be far away and I could find peace. So don't think you need a luxurious clawfoot bathtub and these bougie ass hotel scents. I'm just on you what I've found now, back then, when I was stuck in that situation and I needed a sanctuary and I couldn't have these things in my home because you know he wouldn't let me or it would, you know, make him mad or raise red flags for him. Maybe I'm changing myself so I can get confidence to leave. I didn't have that. I didn't have that choice. It was seriously a chair in the corner and I also spent a lot of my time in my closet crying on the floor, which I've talked about before and if I could go back, I would make that closet my sanctuary too. That closet would be clean, organized and nice, because if I'm gonna be crying on the floor of a closet, that better be a nice ass closet. So think of it like that. Think outside the box. I know we're talking about bougie luxurious stuff, but it ain't always got to be that way and it's not always gonna look that way. It's gonna change. I went from ugly chair to freaking my last sanctuary that I'm gonna talk about.

Speaker 1:

That is probably the bougiest upgrade I've had in my life and you probably already know it's my hot tub. Y'all I got a hot tub my husband actually it was my wedding gift for my husband because he knew I spent so much time in the bathtub. And I also have one of those I forgot to mention it One of those things that go across your bathtub. That's like the wooden tray and you put your, your wine and your food and your book on there. I had one of those and I was all the time in the bathtub because that's where I do my wine downroutine. And he's like, what about a hot tub? And I'm like, yeah, what about it? Add to cart? So we have a hot tub where I spend a lot of my time and a lot of those some in me, saturday or Sunday, sundays is spent in the hot tub and I like my incense out there and I get all bougie as fuck in the hot tub with my champagne and that's how I have upgraded that bougie part of my life and created a sanctuary. So look man, it moved from ugly chair to a bathtub, to a bedroom, to a hot tub. So don't ever think you can't, don't pay attention to those limiting beliefs and intrusive thoughts that might be blocking out your hot tub future. And I could talk about this topic forever because I have worked very hard on creating my whole house to be a sanctuary inside and out. Like I love spending time outside around my fire pit. I do have a fire pit right by my hot tub, so again that ties into it all being a sanctuary, with the flowers and the gardens out there and things like that.

Speaker 1:

But we also created some spaces upstairs, so I love interior design. If you have not figured that one out, I always have to do a house project. That's what makes me happy. I created a book nook, a reading nook, actually in the guest room where ugly chair used to be. I have a walk-in closet in there and I tore everything out of there and I made a like. Well, my dad built me a bed frame in there and so you can go in there and lay down and in the background and this is crazy because we made this before we traveled out west but the background is like this forest wallpaper where it actually looks like you're in this big redwood forest and I put long branches hanging down from the top ceiling with lanterns and fairy lights, so it looks like you're in a magical forest and it's my reading nook. It's another sanctuary I built. I guess you could say I'm kind of addicted to this and, I'm gonna be honest, I never use it. I never use it because we created another space upstairs, so I guess my hot tub actually was not the last sanctuary I created. Now that I think about it, because I've created more spaces, I just didn't think of them as a sanctuary, but now that I think of them as that, they are, because my husband and I created a vampire lounge upstairs, cause we had this.

Speaker 1:

It was a spare room that when I built this house, I had wood put down on the floors and mirrors put on one wall, cause I wanted it to be my pole room. Oh, my God, that sounds so bougie. I used to do pole dance, fitness stuff, and who has not a stripper? But I wanted a pole in that room and mirrors around so I could, you know, work out on the pole, and I had more workout equipment up there and I just I miss it dearly, but I stopped doing it for a while. So I was like I want something new in here and I want a space that my husband and I can create, because he is just as amazing and creative as I am when it comes to interior design and creation, and my daughter's got that and her too. So it's like all three of us we love these projects and I think they turn out really well.

Speaker 1:

So we cleared that room upstairs out and we turned it into a dark academia vampire lounge and our first piece in there was we went to a thrift store and bought this big entertainment center, for I think it was 35 or $40, and we painted it and y'all it freaking looks bad ass. We made it into a bar and I'll post pictures on Instagram or stories or whatever. It's just it's so cool, it's so cool. And then we put wallpaper in there and we've got all kinds of antique, thrifted furniture and pictures hung on the wall. Pretty much everything in there was thrifted.

Speaker 1:

There might be like three things that weren't, but it's very, very dark, vampy feel in there and it's got the low amber light and my husband and I go up there and we'll like make a drink and we'll turn on. Oh, we got a fireplace up there. I wanted a fireplace for so long, one of those like $300. One's kind of like the one I have in my bedroom, but it's actually a old stove, looking one like an electric fireplace. I just didn't want to spend the money and we went to a thrift store and we found one for $25. I was like, oh my gosh, that's crazy, I'm gonna get it. So we have one of those up there, we turn that on, we turn the candles on and we turn some moody music on and that's like our bar, it's our bar sanctuary. So, yeah, yeah, lots of creators in this household. But if you see that room it looks bougie as fuck, but everything in there was seriously thrifted Most everything in there was seriously thrifted For super cheap.

Speaker 1:

So again, you wanna feel good and romanticize your life with a luxe things. It can be luxe, but it doesn't have to be luxe and cost. If that makes sense, you can make stuff luxe yourself. You can make shit bougie out of something you find at a thrift store easily. And then again, also, don't beat yourself up. If you like the bougie life and you wanna spend on something.

Speaker 1:

I've got some $70 wine glasses also in my cart. I do that thing y'all, where I load up my cart and I'm like, oh my God, that's too expensive. I'm gonna have to buy a portion of this now and a portion of it later, and that's okay. I didn't start out that way at all. It took me a while to get here and build this life and this house that I created and this entire sanctuary. So if your sanctuary and your place you find peace right now is on your closet floor, I got news for you You're gonna outgrow that. You're on your way to outgrowing that and you're gonna be a hot tub time machine bitch in no time if you just take action toward these goals and know that you're not stuck.

Speaker 1:

So I hope this has been a little bit informative and not just like, hey, you need to buy this, you need to buy that because I am on a shopping kick. Not gonna lie, I've been buying all kinds of shit to make myself feel good and my house be cozy, because I enjoy this time of year and it's gonna be cold. We're gonna be spending a lot of time indoors. I wanna make it nice as I can and I have a lot more stuff on my list. I think I need to make these like a regular thing because I love sharing things with you that has made my life feel better or made something in my life easier, or just something that makes me happy, and I love to share that because I want to make you happy and I want you to discover these things yourself, because happiness can be found in buying yourself flowers or sitting in an ugly chair or pouring yourself a glass of OJ in a champagne glass Doesn't have to be one of those $70 ones either. So that's all I have for today.

Speaker 1:

Romanticize the fuck out of your life and do not feel bad about it. Treat yourself, get your bougie own and work on that manifesting in those feelings so you can create the life you deserve, because you deserve so much more than feeling stuck. Thank you so much for listening. If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these words, because so many women are feeling stuck.

Speaker 1:

Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the ground, at author Cat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website, and that's catadamsadamswithadoubled'scom. Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. Also, when you subscribe, you're gonna get a free novella and just be forewarned, my Oronti romcom is as dirty as my mouth, so if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious, but thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side. People may not understand that YouTube is actually тыodened.

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