You're Not Stuck
From rom-com author to women empowerment advocate, Kat Addams guides women on the enlightened path to becoming unstuck. As a domestic abuse survivor, she tackles the nitty-gritty of what it takes to liberate yourself and embark on a journey to freedom from miserable situations. Kat’s no bull-shit approach to self-transformation includes shameless insights, progressive practices, and spiritual growth with a heavy dose of humor and f-bombs. If you’re looking for a sign to leave, this is it. You’re not stuck. Join the journey and start taking charge of your life by listening now. New episodes drop every Monday to start your week off strong. Also, Mondays suck. Kat's here to make it better.
You're Not Stuck
Nourishing Your Spirit With Southern Magic: Creating High Vibes With Soul Food and Southern Gothic Escapism
Continuing with the high-vibes series to manifest a mofo our your life, we are raising our vibrational energy with some good ol' southern traditions. Are you ready for a high-vibe journey that begins in your kitchen and winds its way through the heart of Southern culture? We're talking about soul food, porch-sitting, bonfires, and more. If you're in need of comfort, this episode is for you. Add some of these practices to your daily routine and morph into that Appalachian witch you were meant to be.
Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
Also, some links in my show notes may be affiliate links. This means I earn a tiny amount of money if you buy a product I recommend. You should know, I never recommend crap.
Buy the You're Not Stuck book and start your journey today!
Please fill out this form for topic suggestions, to tell your story, or for any interview requests
Join the journey by signing up for my newsletter and getting a free, hilarious rom-com!
Follow me on TikTok
Follow me on Instagram
Head on over to my website for a full list of books and laughs!
Visit my darker side for paranormal rom-com under Fritzi Cox...
It's time to wake up witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that, no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. Oh my, where to start, since I had batch recorded so many episodes. I am running short, but I did try to record one last weekend. That did not go well and it probably will never see the light of day because it was very. It was very.
Speaker 1:I titled it bitching, okay, because I was so tired of everything that's happening in the world, like the whole thing that's going over, going on over in Israel, and people being murdered in these, you know, women and children. It's all men's fault. Basically, it's all and it's. It's not even funny, but it's just. It's like you got to laugh, to keep from crying because it keeps happening in.
Speaker 1:Women bear the burden of these wars that the men create in it. So I did a whole bitch session on like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Like, I know so many women who have amazing resources, lots of time, lots of money, and they just sit and they just bitch about the world. And it's like apathy, you know, like they just don't think, like they're able to change anything, and that's the worst. And it's like what are you doing about it? And that's like, oh, it just kills me. It kills me when people don't take action and don't remedy their situation the best they can or work to make the world a better place, especially if you have the resources to do that and I know not everybody does. But just sitting and bitching about it is not going to get us anywhere, because only women are going to fix this. Like I say all the time, only women will fix this situation. With all this male violence in the whole world not just the US, obviously, it's happening everywhere and women need to become in power so we can fix it. End of story. It was a bitch session, y'all. Maybe I'll upload it one day, but probably not because I'm trying to Well, not during this season, because I'm trying to do the whole high vibes romance in your life series so we can have that good jujitsu energy and we're going to manifestation. But that stuff I'm talking about the whole like what are you doing? What are you going to do about it? Kind of leads me into some volunteer work that I am doing and I have reached out to three different agencies that are, like you know, for women and children and abusive relationships. That's what I love, that's my passion, that's my niche. So I've been trying to volunteer for a while. I have not heard back from any but one, and today I'm so excited because I get to work on something for them. And the woman in charge of the agency reached out to me and she was like you know what do you do, what are your skills? And I told her, like I just I want to start with some writing. Like, do you have a newsletter or something I can work on that? Let me just show you what I can do.
Speaker 1:I happen to mention that I have a podcast y'all. Now I keep my career life totally separate from my brand, and this is my brand. You're listening to my brand. Does my brand like mix with my real self and my career? Mostly not. No, because cat is not going to let's put it this way Cats here not to cater to shareholders and corporate bigwigs. Cats here to cater to victims and women in a relatable voice. Which is why I'm always like being real with you and I let a lot of f-bomb slip and pottymouth stuff slip. But that's just me and that is obviously not safe for work. So my professional writing and my professional career is under a whole separate identity because cat, I am, her, she's me, whatever. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is she asked me because I did say, like I have a podcast and I've written books and I've got one out, you know, for women, and she's like what's the name of your podcast? I'd love to listen to it. I'm thinking, oh shit, she's going to hear me and she's gonna hear me in all my explicit glory and she's gonna be like you ain't coming anywhere near my agency, you heathen woman, which you know. I hope it's not the case. I think when I send her this email with the work I'm gonna do for her, I'm just gonna let her know I keep my brand entirely separate from my professional life because it's two different audiences and you know what.
Speaker 1:I got to thinking about it and I always wanted to start something for women and I never knew what that was Like. I had so many ideas. I had ideas about burner phones and I think this is another step on my journey because things are starting to fall into place. I did a lot of research on like starting a nonprofit, yada, yada, yada, but right now what I'm doing, I think it's getting me closer to what I wanted, because I'm having some light bulb moments here on what's missing, like some of these agencies.
Speaker 1:I have worked with them before and it's just to be honest, it's very. It's either religious, super religious, conservative which you know I'm just not and they push you into religion and there's a lot of. If you go back, we talked about religious abuse and I've seen that in some of this and it's just no. And then there's also a lot of it's fruit, fruit and stuffy and it's like these agencies are which I get. They need to raise money with all these gallows and stuff, but I wanna be doing the dirty work of lifting the victims up and helping them become survivors and there seems to be a gap between all of this. So things are firing off in my brain and it's I talk about the journey a lot and this is an example it's like you're not gonna get to where you need to go right off the bat. Things are just gonna start falling into place and you're gonna have these aha moments and it's like, oh okay, that's.
Speaker 1:I had to go through this to get here, just like my romcom. I had to go through my romcom to get to where I'm at now in this podcast and writing. You're not stuck and working in my career where I work with like Vawa stuff, and if you don't know what that is, it's a violence against women's act and things like that. So yeah, I'm excited and if she does listen, if she's listening now, I recently saw something. I think it was a TikTok and I don't know if it's true, I'm not fact checking it, but it was like the highest vibration frequency you have is not love, it's not hate, it's authenticity. So remember that be yourself. Cat is me, I am cat, this is myself. And if people reject that and they have a lot in the past and that's cool.
Speaker 1:I don't care if everyone agrees with my style and the things I preach, but then it just wasn't meant to be. You know, if things don't fall into place for me in certain ways, then I look at it like that. It just wasn't meant to be. So that is kind of where I'm at right now with expending myself again because I totally have the time to do that right. I don't know why I keep doing this. I'm on a mission, y'all I'm on a mission.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the podcast today topic and not keep getting off on these tangents, because today we're talking about romanticizing your life by bringing in a lot of comfort, going back to the Huga stuff, like in a Southern culture way which, hello, I'm from the state of Tennessee. Love it or hate it, you know my feelings on this, but I have been embracing the Southern side of me that I feel like, is a big part of Southern culture, and I'm gonna start there. And it goes back to cooking comfort meals. So this episode is all about comforting yourself, to raise your vibration, and it's perfect at this time of year because it is dreary outside and it is cooling down and leaves are falling and I am getting into my comfort zone and I'm doing that a lot by cooking Like, oh my gosh, it's soup season, y'all, it's chili season.
Speaker 1:If you're not a cook, let me tell you about a website and I have no affiliation with this website, but I'm talking about cooking. But if you do not cook, you need to go to goldbellycom and you can order food from different regions. I just saw where you could get the clam chowder and the sourdough bowls straight from San Francisco, which I've been to San Francisco twice in the past year and I always, always get that because it is fabulous and I'm like, oh my gosh, you can order it and have it overnighted to your house. It's pricey, but it's worth it. So get on there and look up some Southern favorites or just whatever you want, but I highly recommend the Southern favorites because this is the Southern episode. So things like barbecue, mac and cheese.
Speaker 1:New Orleans cuisine is my absolute favorite. They have the Commander's Palace shrimp and grits there. They have muffalettes. I have ordered the muffalettes from oh my gosh, what's it called? It's the famous. What is it? I'm having a brain fart. It's the famous restaurant in New Orleans, central Grocery. Oh my gosh. Yes, I ordered from Goldbelly the Central Grocery muffalettes and I've also eaten at Central Grocery the muffalettes and it's one and the same. It is exactly the same. It is amazing.
Speaker 1:So if you are not a cook, check out Goldbelly, order you some comfort foods and just have a weekend of taking care of yourself. I also do this for Christmas. We used to have a Christmas tradition of like Italian food and stuff, but we don't do that anymore. We order from Goldbelly. So usually something fancy, and I think I'm gonna do it for Thanksgiving this year too, because it's just it's been a hit. We all kind of like pick something and they have cakes and things like that. It's awesome, check it out.
Speaker 1:But if you are a cook, now is the season to do it. So, lately, what I have been doing almost every weekend and probably a couple of times throughout the week, I believe, if I have a time, I don't know. Work kind of drains me, you know that, but I turn on a playlist that's got like autumn vibes. My favorite right now is called Central Park and it's on Spotify and it is exactly like the autumn New York vibe jazzy, classy mood music. And then I pour myself a glass of wine and I start cooking. And I got into this recently because TikTok oh my gosh, have you been on like cooking TikTok? I have so many recipes I need to try and everyone I've tried so far has been absolutely amazing.
Speaker 1:I have done a lot of like vegan recipes that are super simple. It's like five ingredients who knew you can make an amazing pasta sauce. Out of what is it? Tomato paste, heavy cream, pasta water, I think garlic and a shot of vodka or something. I don't know. There might be something missing in there, but I made it and it was like it was perfect. So I've been doing a lot of wholesome cooking, a lot of. I did a recent recipe that was extremely involved and don't recommend that.
Speaker 1:I like the quick and easy stuff, the simple ingredients, stuff that's gonna make me feel good, which is mostly directly opposite of the Southern culture food. If you have come to the South or you're from the South, you know we eat a lot of fried chicken, cornbread stuff. I think they cook it in lard. Personally, I've never done that, but I have cooked some stuff in bacon grease and hey, if that's your thing, eat that shit too. The whole point is and not all the time, because you might drop dead of a heart attack but the whole point is raising your vibration and comforting yourself however you can. And to me, chicken and dumplings, mac and cheese those are like my go-tos. It feels like I'm being wrapped in a warm blanket and I just I cozy up in my little ugly chair If you've seen my TikToks and stories, you know about ugly chair and I just I eat my noodles or a dumplings and I'm happy and it works.
Speaker 1:I did this like two months ago when I was I was struggling through a week, really bad, really down, and I made myself some chicken and dumplings and I'm usually like very calorie counter type, try to be fit in this stuff. I have gotten out of it, you know, a little bit in the past year, but I didn't worry about it that day I curled up with my blanket in front of my heater. I have a space heater. I highly recommend getting a Reagan space heater. I have that thing on me all the time and I felt good. It totally changed my energy. It did just something simple like that and that's why we've been cooking lately. Sometimes you know my daughter will help or my husband helps.
Speaker 1:On the weekend we make a date night of it. We're like let's go buy these, you know short ribs and try to braise them and blah, blah, blah and we turn the music on and we dance in the kitchen and we drink wine and it's just. It's awesome, like I highly highly recommend it. It doesn't have to be expensive food. I cooked, like I said that, five ingredient pasta stuff and it was banging. So that is part of the Southern culture is a lot of being in the kitchen cooking good foods that make you feel good. That is one thing you can try to make yourself feel better. And again, if you don't cook, check out Goal Belly or order, take out and just cozy up in front of the TV. I quite frequently more than I'd like to admit have a what I call emotionally supportive Mexican food night and have my favorite Mexican restaurant down the street. I get a big jumbo margarita and I eat chips and salsa and then I don't know tacos he does whatever and it's like food for my soul and that that's the Southern way you cook and food for yourself.
Speaker 1:Another thing we're big on down here is music. I do live in the music city I can't say the music city because there's several. Right, I think New Orleans is jazz, nashville's country and Memphis is blues. So we're big, big, big, big, big music fans, big music city. I told you about my one of my favorite playlists. But another hack I use all the time.
Speaker 1:Usually what I'm working is ASMR oh my gosh, and not the creepy girl whispering in your ear, asmr. This ASMR is like the ones I've been listening to lately, is like Halloween at Hogwarts, or sometimes I don't like music, I just like the background noise. So I've got like a bubbling green witches cauldron in a kitchen or, you know, like in a spooky house, and it'll have like the bubbling sound effects and like glasses clinking and stuff like that and like a space bar. That was pretty awesome when I was writing a space bar scene in one of Fritzi Cox's books. So when I write I try to set myself in those, in those in the atmosphere, and I check for an ASMR playlist on that and it's a frigging game changer.
Speaker 1:I listened to a lot that has the jazz in it, so like coffee shop jazz and it's got. You know, it sounds like you're in a coffee shop and you've got jazz music playing. There was a bunch of creepy ones like a nostalgic retro TV, like sound with music in the background. I don't know, I don't know. Just get on YouTube and look up their ASMR. You can any keywords you want Halloween, spooky, witchy, autumn, pumpkin farm I've done a lot of pumpkin farms. You hear like birds in the background and leaves falling. I saw one recently that was just like eating popcorn and moving and you hear like a crunchy chip popcorn. I don't know if that's your thing. I do also this. Mostly I do this stuff in the fall and winter because it's just so cozy, but I do some Christmas ones as well, where it's like seen as a workshop and in the background it sounds like a little music box and it's got the Christmas tunes playing and it's got like snow, winter, blizzard outside and the crackling fire. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I could go on and on about ASMR, because I've been doing this for years and it's instantly calming. It's so high vibe, it's just, and you know what? I bet you could find some ASMR with those high vibe frequencies. I don't know the frequencies off the top of my head, but I know it's like whatever this hurts, not hurts as in H-U-R-T-S, but H is it H-E-R-T-Z? Well, I'm sure it must do piddity day. The hurts like the literal vibration frequency of sound and they have different frequencies, affect you in a different way. You could probably find whatever effect you're looking for. You know a calming way or a motivating way, whatever. I'm sure they have it on YouTube. So check out ASMR. Cook yourself some food or order yourself some food and just take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:It is the whole slow living thing. You don't have to be like, oh, taking care of myself is I'm going to go spend money on a spa day or I'm going to go, you know, out partying with my friends, like, turn within and that's the whole point of this season right now is you are starting to turn within, to take care of yourself, and these comfy, cozy things are going to help you kind of get into the mindset of feeling good about yourself so you can make those outward changes. Because it starts within, and I know I say this all the time, but here's an example of getting outside, getting into nature. You don't even have to go hike, you don't even have to go walk.
Speaker 1:One thing we love to do in the South is just sit our ass on the front porch or the back patio with some sweet tea or one or nothing. To sit, be and watch the world around you. That's part of slow living. Stop and notice what's going on around you, notice the weather, notice the changes in the weather, notice it warming up midday, cooling down in the evening, which this is basically kind of like a meditation. Anyways, this is your front porch meditation y'all. Get yourself a rocking chair and a glass of sweet tea or, if it's cold outside, maybe some hot tea and notice the world around you and just be still. I'm preaching to myself here because I don't know how to do that. And there is one way that you can coach yourself to do this and it's a perfect time of year to do it is get a fire pit or build a fire pit. You can do this for pretty cheap. I've seen like do it yourself fire pits, but I've also seen them for sale pretty cheap.
Speaker 1:Sit around a fire pit, y'all and just. We used to have bonfires here in the South, like in the party days of high school, and big bonfires. Oh my God, if you can find a bonfire, freaking, go sit around a bonfire. But if you can't sit around a fire pit, sit on your patio, sit on your front porch, just sit your ass down, wrap yourself in a blanket, get you some tea or your chicken and dumplings and just be. Just be like, quit doing all kinds of rushing here, rushing there, and don't go out there with your calendar, don't go out there to do list on your phone. Just like literally be. Don't be playing in stuff, just stop and notice what's around you.
Speaker 1:There's a reason we're known for being so slow around here in the South and that's because that's what we do. Well, most people, not me. Like I said, I need to practice what I preach, but that sounds amazing. I'm gonna do that this week. I'm going to. I have a fire pit. I haven't been getting out there as much these days, but I am gonna make it a priority because we're all in this together and if you do it I'm gonna do it. So we'll be accountability partners here on slow living.
Speaker 1:Now there's also a lot of other things here that play into the whole Southern culture. You know a lot of Southern people. Church is big down here. If that's your thing, go for it. It's personally not my thing. You know how I feel about all that. I am more of. Hey, I need to find a coven and dance around this fire pit with my babies out under a full moon. That sounds amazing to me, but unfortunately I don't live in a place where that is going to happen either. I'd probably be thrown into the fire pit if anyone around here caught me doing that.
Speaker 1:But you also don't have to go to church. I feel like, if you are a Christian, to be spiritual. I know a lot of Christians would probably disagree with me on that, and I used to be Christian. But I found God more in nature than sitting in a pew or only pew, which is the weirdest word and having someone preach and make me feel bad about myself Usually a man actually was always a man. I don't think I've ever had, when I went to church, a woman preaching to me. But yeah, if I wanted to sit in a room and have a man shaming me and making me feel bad about myself, I would have stayed married to my ex-husband. So I don't do that shit. But if that's your thing, then go for it. I'm just trying to tell y'all some Southern culture things that if you think that would raise your vibration I don't know it wouldn't be, but it's an option to try it out Maybe you are called to the Jesus side of things and that's okay. Be whatever religion you wanna be, just be kind.
Speaker 1:So, going back to traditions, I'm clicking around here in my notes so I can remember exactly what I wanna talk about, and I think we're coming to the end here on kind of what we do down here to comfort ourselves. Sports is big as well, but I don't know shit about that, so I'm not gonna talk about it. I think people like do the tailgating thing, which is basically partying all day and eating chili and drinking beer and then watching football. If that's your thing, I don't know anything about it, but go for it. That is a Southern, definitely a Southern experience.
Speaker 1:And then, last but not least, I want to talk about Gothic Southern literature, which I. It's a whole mood. I love it. I'm currently watching the fall of the house of usher on Netflix. If you haven't seen it, go watch it right now. It's freaking amazing If you're a pofan, especially because you're going to be like, oh my gosh, this is from that point. Oh my gosh, this is from that tale that he wrote. It is awesome.
Speaker 1:So Southern Gothic literature is one of my favorite genres. It is all the spooky vibes, it has that atmosphere, it has the just the whole mood, the language. It's just beautiful. And if you haven't read any Southern Gothic literature, I highly recommend starting with some of Edgar Allen Poe's work, like the fall of the house of usher. The haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson is also. It's an American Gothic fiction. Just do a Google search on Southern Gothic literature. You're going to find a million things.
Speaker 1:If you don't want to read, I highly recommend finding some Southern Gothic TV shows or a mini series. One of my favorites is called Sharp Objects. I believe it is based on Gilly. It is. I'm looking up now Gilly and Flynn's novel, but it is so like got that Gothic atmosphere. It's a little bit creepy, so if that's not your thing you might want to pass, but it's like I look for the New Orleans ish Gothic vibes during this time of year. It's to me that's comforting and it's goes along with the whole Southern culture thing.
Speaker 1:Now, if you don't want the spooky side of things, I also watch a lot of stuff that's not exactly Southern culture but it makes me feel good, like Gilmore Girls, like what is the? Oh my gosh, if you haven't seen the mini series, it's like a cartoon, but it's called Over the Garden Wall. It has all the vibe jaw. Now that one's a little bit creepy, but I don't even know how to explain it, just the atmosphere and mood of that it's. So it's very autumn and it gets me excited for this season. So lots of options there you can choose from. Oh, one I didn't mention was Good Witch Duh. It's on HBO, not HBO, no, it's on Netflix.
Speaker 1:And if you're looking for comfort, that's not high stakes, what, and what I mean by that is like basically high stressful. It's just a comfort. Wrap you in a blanket show like Gilmore Girls. Check out Good Witch. Now, I didn't make it to, I think I only made it through two seasons before it got just too cringe for me. Because it is a bit cringe, because it's just like I don't know, it's just you have to watch it. It still makes me feel amazing though, because it's not high stakes and it's like every episode I know, like no one's going to be murdered or something bad going to happen. It's just got the right amount of magic and mystery in it, but also just that good wholesome feeling, and that's what it's all about, right, the wholesome stuff to make you feel better. So definitely check out Good Witch as well.
Speaker 1:And one last thing I will say. That is a Southern culture TV show that I'm going to sing from the mountaintops. I think it's the best thing on television right now. It's the righteous gemstones. Now going back to the Christianity thing. If you are Christian, this could probably offend you, because righteous gemstones is basically a play on the super rich. What are they called? Tv personalities, like what is the word I'm looking for? You know, those preachers on TV who make a shit ton of money and fly the jets and things like that. It's basically that, but it is the freaking funniest thing I have seen in years and it's based in the south, so I'm just going to throw that in there too as a Southern culture, high vibe thing. It will make you laugh your freaking ass off y'all it is. I don't even know how to describe it, it's just they have the best lines in there. Every single time I watch that show it makes me laugh so hard that I cry. I can't say enough good things about it. Definitely check that out, but not if you are easily offended, that is for sure.
Speaker 1:So to recap, what you're going to do to raise your vibes in the Southern way is you're going to wrap yourself in a blanket of Southern culture, and that includes sitting, being still on your porch patio in front of the fire pit, I don't know anywhere. You can get out into nature, but also just be still. Don't even take your phone. Don't take your phone. You're going to cook you a good wholesome meal or you're going to order you a good wholesome meal. You're going to turn on some ASMR or some slow jazz or that central park playlist on Spotify. You're going to find your spirituality, whatever that means to you, and you're going to read a good book or watch a TV show that's going to make you get into this moody vibe or make you laugh, and all that together. Y'all is the Southern way. I hope you enjoy it.
Speaker 1:I do this all the time, especially on the weekends. I've been raising my vibes to set me up for the week, because weeks are stressful. So definitely, definitely, incorporate some of this stuff into your daily routines, your weekly routines, whenever you can fit it in. Just fit it in, because this is going to make you feel amazing and it is going to raise your vibration so you can change yourself from the inside and start seeing those changes on the outside, building your confidence and your knowledge on this journey to get you out of the situation that you want to escape from.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening. If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these words, because so many women are filling stock. Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the ground at author Cat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website and that's catadamsadamswiththedoubled'scom. Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. Also, when you subscribe, you're going to get free novella. And just be forewarned, my Oronti romcom is as dirty as my mouth. So if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious. But thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side.
