You're Not Stuck
From rom-com author to women empowerment advocate, Kat Addams guides women on the enlightened path to becoming unstuck. As a domestic abuse survivor, she tackles the nitty-gritty of what it takes to liberate yourself and embark on a journey to freedom from miserable situations. Kat’s no bull-shit approach to self-transformation includes shameless insights, progressive practices, and spiritual growth with a heavy dose of humor and f-bombs. If you’re looking for a sign to leave, this is it. You’re not stuck. Join the journey and start taking charge of your life by listening now. New episodes drop every Monday to start your week off strong. Also, Mondays suck. Kat's here to make it better.
You're Not Stuck
Inner Demons and Hidden Strengths: The Power and Mystery of Shadow Work
It's time, witches. This Halloween, let's dive into confronting our demons with ... shadow work! The symbolism of Halloween, with its ghostly apparitions and thinning veils, acts as the perfect backdrop for today's topic. This mystical holiday can facilitate our access to our shadow selves and, interestingly, be a transformative tool for survivors of domestic abuse. So, get ready to uncover hidden strengths, talents, and perhaps even a few ghouls lurking in the corners of your psyche. Fair warning, shadow work is ruthlessly hard, but it is a must stop on your journey to freedom and growth. You won't get where you want to go, unless you do the work. So get on it and meet me on the other side of the veil where life is pure magic!
Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
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It's time to wake up, witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that, no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. What is up, witches? It has been forever in a day since I've been able to record a podcast, so I had a whole bunch about to record it and now I have none, because every single weekend I have been so freaking drained from work that I'm just like I can't, I cannot do it. I just I can't work anymore. And even though this is my passion, it's like my hobby, it's what I really love to do, it's still work, so I have been just Just drained.
Speaker 1:So you're hearing this now like right before it goes out and it is Halloween week, so our topic today is going to be Shadow work. But first let me tell you some stuff that's going on in my life. Just some quick updates. Like I said, I have been working my ass off. There's some people on my team that were, that have been out for quite some time, so I've had to pick up kind of their roles at the same time of doing mine and it's it's killed me and I know I'm doing that thing that I said like I'm not gonna do this I'm not gonna kill myself again because it seems like every October, november and December at work, I I get in this place. I Think the previous two years it was like we were in this backlog and we had like 500 cases to go through and I Was working so much that I would become physically ill like a lot. Like by the end of the day I just I really felt like I was gonna throw up. I I did. It was horrible, horrible and I just get foggy brain and I couldn't even. I mean, it was a little bit scary. I think it's just mental fatigue because I couldn't even do basic math, like it felt, like my brain wasn't firing. It's creepy. But I I've been getting to that place a lot and I'm like I Know now to protect myself because I've been working on that this year, before it happens, not always, but most of time.
Speaker 1:So I have been With a new update on iOS. Is that what it is? The Apple, the Apple Apple phone? You can set it to like certain do not disturbs, but let only Certain notifications come through. So I have one called leave me alone and it turns off my team's messages and it's been wonderful. So it comes on, usually about like eight at night because, yes, I could shut it off after work. But you know me, I'll work on that too. But it does go off at eight at night Because I have an international team so somebody might need me, you know, after hours. But eight is my time to cut off, so it shuts off from eight to six and that's because I start work at 530 or six in the morning because I have been Especially lately.
Speaker 1:I've been getting in a super solid routine. I've been getting back to my workouts and I've been feeling a lot better. Holly recommend that. I don't know if that's a new thing with Apple or if it's just new to me, but if you go to like the do not disturb screen, I think there's like a plus at the bottom where you can add your own customized Do not disturb and it is a game changer because now my phone's not ding, ding, ding ding All night long and I'm really anxious about like missing a important emergency call From a family member or something. So I did not. I do allow Like you can put on there. You know I can receive calls and text messages from these people, so it is great. I highly, highly, highly recommend One other thing I've been doing and if you listen to the last podcast, I talked about how, like, I am going through this really weird cooking phase.
Speaker 1:I turned my music up and I have, you know, my central park playlist. I pour my one and I just have been cooking meals and so I plan on doing that today with my new knife and my new cutting board and y'all this cutting board is Gorgeous. So I went shopping, online shopping for cutting boards. I was like booze boards are the best and they were like three or four hundred dollars and I was like, oh, I won't one so bad. Oh my gosh, they're beautiful. But then I started doing some research and a lot of people in red were like, no, go to Etsy. They're like half that price and even more beautiful. So I did.
Speaker 1:I went to Etsy, I bought this cutting board and it's got like a break pattern on it. It is Gorgeous, much, much cheaper than the booze boards, but it is beautiful. So I'm gonna be using that tonight and I'm so friggin excited. And it's the little things, y'all. It is the little things when I say like I've been so crazy with work lately that a cutting board is the highlight of my weekend. Oh my gosh, yeah, super, super excited to use that tonight and get into my Little comfy, cozy hobby thing. I'm doing that's common me it. It's working. So, whatever works, whatever, float your boat.
Speaker 1:Also, if you listen to the bougie podcast, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm making my house smell like a five-star hotel. Yes, I have still been buying some of that stuff too. I have this diffuser that I got. It's not the one that was like a thousand dollars, it's a cheaper one. This one's actually only like it was sixty dollars and you put your diffuser oil in there and it just automatically sprays out. It's a waterless diffuser, and this one said it was like only Covered 500 square feet because I wanted the bigger one, but I wanted to try this one for my room. It was actually too strong in my room, but in just my lower level of my house it's been filling the whole lower level. So I'm like, hmm, this is awesome and I might have to get another one for the upstairs.
Speaker 1:And then I'm changing the oils out. There's one that's like what is it? It's orange, burnt, burnt orange and something I don't know. It's supposed to be very festive. I'm like, okay, well, that's the holidays, why not? So I'm looking forward to that and that is not like is it's exciting for y'all, I know, but this is the things I have to do to get comfortable and turn in the season, because life is a mess, life's messy, life's always gonna be messy and you know, I'm sitting here telling y'all my gosh, I'm swamped at work so much that I can't do basic math at the end of the day and guess what?
Speaker 1:I'm also volunteering now and I don't know why I do this to myself. I enjoy it, I do, I enjoy it and I'm an achiever. So those things kind of like get me going. But yeah, I am learning a lot doing this volunteer stuff that maybe I'll expand upon sometime. But it's actually giving me ideas for where I want to go with my own career with a. You're not stuck branding and things like that, because so much charity work.
Speaker 1:I feel like it gives me the ickies, like it's. I understand sometimes why things in nonprofits have to go. The way that they go is to raise money, right, but at the same time it gives me the ickies. It just it doesn't feel right. But I'm not gonna get all into that.
Speaker 1:I would love to explain upon that at some point, but we're already almost 10 minutes in and I wanna talk about shadow work because Halloween's coming up and it's the perfect time to talk about shadow work. So you might be asking what the heck is shadow work? Why are you talking about shadow work in Halloween? So let me use my favorite tool I know I talk about this all the time ChatGPT. I don't give two shits how you feel about it. Like, when I am so drained, this mofo helps me out with my planning, my podcasting, and helps me get my thoughts together when my brain is not able to do basic math. So we're going to use ChatGPT to help me describe shadow work in a better way than I can describe it. So let's dive in here.
Speaker 1:So it's a fitting topic for Halloween because it's about the mysterious, the unknown and the parts of ourselves that we may not always see or want to acknowledge. Right, it's like the shadow itself. It's that part of you that you know. That is a toxic trait I have, but you're ignoring it, you're not acknowledging it, or you might not even know you have it until it's, like, brought to light. You're like, oh, I do do that. So it says the shadow is a term from Jungian. I think that's how you pronounce the word Jungian psychology, referring to the unconscious part of the personality that contains repressed weaknesses, desires and instincts. It represents all that a person doesn't know about themselves, especially the parts they deny or don't accept. Over time, these unacknowledged and repressed parts form the shadow self.
Speaker 1:We're talking about this on Halloween because it's themes of mask, hidden identities, and the exploration of darker themes serves a symbolic backdrop for shadow work. It's a time when people embrace, even if only superficially, the more mysterious and hidden parts of their psyche. And I don't know about y'all, but I got some scary ass hidden parts of my psyche that I don't wanna talk about. But I have had to confront them because that is the only way you grow, and I mostly discovered mine after my divorce. So, after escaping my abusive relationship, I did a bunch of work on myself, as we all need to do, and even better while you're in that relationship. That's gonna get you out faster. But yeah, it's hard, y'all. It is hard, but it must be done. You're not gonna level up unless you do the work.
Speaker 1:Now, another reason why I'm bringing this up around Halloween especially because I love all things witchy is because there is a connection here to a time when it's best to work on this. So, if you're witchy, halloween is two things. Here. It is when they celebrate I think it's Pagan's celebrate, saw one. It's spelled S-A-M-H-A-I-N. And that is when it's the witch's new year. So they don't start it like in January, they start it in the fall. It's when they plant their seeds, their intentions to grow throughout these coming months and rise up in the spring. Right. It's also when the veil is thin. What does that mean? So it means the veil between the conscious and the unconscious, so the world of the living and the dead. Basically, it's thinner around Halloween.
Speaker 1:This belief can be symbolic of the accessibility of the shadow self. Just as we may confront ghost or explore the supernatural on Halloween, we can also confront and explore our inner ghost through shadow work, all right. So it is the perfect time to not only like, set your intentions for what the work you plan on doing during this time, turning in, turning into yourself, like, right now is the time to do the inner work, not the outer work. Do the inner work, outer work comes later. It's just the perfect time to get into that deep, dark, doodoo energy that you got inside yourself that you're causing, not other people when I'm talking about energy vampires unless you're your own energy vampire, but this is the perfect time to confront those ghosts. I'm gonna give you some basics of shadow work, but then, since this is a podcast mostly for domestic abuse victims, I'm gonna kind of tie it into there. But components of the shadow is repressed emotions and desires. This can include anything from suppressed anger to hidden desires, anything we've learned to hide from our conscious self, forgotten experiences.
Speaker 1:Now this has come up. What is it called? Emd therapy? I did some kind of therapy work one time y'all, and it goes along this theme of forgotten experiences, past traumas that I had buried within myself, and I went to a therapist a long time ago not my therapist I use now, because she's amazing. This was another one and I did that thing where you hold these like electro things in your Hands and it goes back and forth like left side of your brain, right side of your brain. It like shocks you a little bit or just whatever. It feels weird and your eyes go back and forth.
Speaker 1:Do not recommend that I had some shit come up that my brain had blocked previously for very good reason. Did that serve me well, actually, you know, looking back, yeah, because it I was having some anxiety and I thought it was coming from this, but it was actually coming from these things. I had forgotten that my brain had replaced with this. I Don't want to get into it, but it didn't really help me with my anxiety. I just knew. You know that. You know this is where it's coming from now, but that is one of those forgotten experiences. That was something that was living in my shadows and that was awful to explore. So I Don't know if you think that would help you. I think it's called EMD or EMR. I can't remember Something like that is some kind of shock therapy or something I guess. Crazy, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Spooky, spooky, spooky and then also unknown talents and strengths. So, interestingly enough, the shadow isn't just about the negative or dark side of us. It can also contain potential strengths and talents that we haven't recognized or cultivated. And if you're in abusive relationship, I bet you got a lot of that going on, because you're constantly being beaten down and you don't recognize your strengths. Because how can you when you're in the fog of a bullshit, toxic relationship?
Speaker 1:So, as we get into shadow work in toxic relationships, I need you to know one thing, two things first safety first, always, always, y'all do not Do any of this shit unless you are safe and you know you're safe. Like. I'm not a professional. I ain't no therapist, I ain't nothing like that. I am just someone telling y'all my experiences and the knowledge I have now in this niche of Abuse to try to help you learn what I've had to learn and hopefully prevent Some of the struggles for you that I had to go through to learn these things. So, safety first, and also avoid victim blaming. That's like, do not blame yourself. We're talking about shadow work, stuff within yourself that you need to fix, but don't you dare for one minute think, oh my gosh, like because of all these flaws in me, he's an asshole to me. Fuck, no, we are not gonna go down that line of thinking.
Speaker 1:So let me read you this list here that chat GPT helped me put together. I Need a name for chat GPT. We're gonna I'm gonna have to think of a name because you know what I'm gonna let chat GPT think of a name. But we're gonna do that after this podcast, because I use this mofo a lot and I'm telling y'all when your brain if you're like me, if you're busy all the time. You can use it for anything and it's free. First of all, it's free. You can be like I have beans, rice, eggs and Two chicken legs in my pantry. Can you please create me a five course Meal or whatever five-star meal? Whatever it can do that it will tell you in like five seconds a Recipe for that. All right, anyways, I'm telling you use it for everything. All right, let's see Patterns and origins.
Speaker 1:So part of the shadow work if you are in an abusive relationship can start here. It can be through introspection. One might recognize patterns in their relationships, perhaps stemming from early life experiences, which might make them more susceptible to entering or staying in abusive dynamics. This is not to blame the victim, but to understand the factors that contribute to their life choices. This is an easy one. Y'all, do you have anyone in your life that is modeled a healthy relationship? Because I know I sure as hell didn't.
Speaker 1:Growing up, abuse wasn't normal. I saw it in my family. I saw it and my friends I I know one ever taught me about toxic I behavior or abuse, because it was normal. It was called the and I know I've mentioned it before in my family Italian temper right, that is such a cute word for abuse. So no, like that, that's part of the shadow. Do you not even know what a healthy relationship is Like? I never had that experience modeled in my parents, so I had no freaking clue. And that's if you are in the same position, who can blame you for following those patterns, for falling back into the cycle because you didn't know any better? No one taught you any better. You've never seen better. You didn't even know that was a thing that people actually treat each other with love, kindness and respect Shit, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1:So that can be part of your shadow work learning that it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to be miserable just because your parents were miserable or your friends or everyone surrounding you was miserable in these shitty relationships. Let me tell you that is not normal. People like to joke about those couples who have been together for like 20 and 30 years and they're still over each other and like, oh gross, get a room, grow up, blah, blah. That's the kind of relationship I want and let me tell you that's the kind of relationship I have and that's it's real. It is real and you can go out there and get it. You can create that life for yourself. It is amazing.
Speaker 1:It feels awesome not to waste your energy on toxic, bullshit behavior from your partner and instead you have all this energy now that you're you're not using on. Oh my gosh, I don't trust him. Where is he at? Who is he talking to? You're not eating that stuff. Never pop in your head when you're in a healthy relationship, because if you just don't pop in your head, you trust your partner. You'll have this great healthy relationship. So you can use all that energy you would use on that crap now for yourself for, like I don't know, cooking gourmet meals and listen to a Central Park playlist because that shit feels good and you know it doesn't feel good being in that pattern. That is unhealthy because you might have learned it in childhood.
Speaker 1:Other things here is recognizing your self-worth and boundaries. Do you have problems with setting boundaries? Do you have problems with your self-worth? I know you do. If you're in a toxic relationship, absolutely Like exploring the shadow means revealing these repressed feelings of low self-worth or a difficulty in setting and maintaining boundaries. You have to work on that shit. You're not gonna get ahead if you feel like you can't get ahead because you feel like you're worthless or you don't deserve it. You have to work on that and we're gonna get into how to work on that here in a minute. But recognizing that stuff that you don't want to admit Like oh my gosh, I'm a doormat, I let people walk all over me. Who wants to admit that? And a big one here A big one, that's what she said Is facing fears.
Speaker 1:So oftentimes fear keeps people anchored in abusive relationships, and I'm not just talking about the fear of retaliation, because that is real and that is scary and women in abusive relationships are. You're even risking your life, leaving Only. You know your safety level. So I am not advising you to put yourself in an unsafe situation. You have the resources out there if you need to help. The professional resources. I have a list of shit in my show notes every single week. It's in there. Go to go to Google and just look it up. Look for local resources, look for national resources. I think it's like the domestic or in the US it's the national domestic abuse hotline. They have a whole website that will lead you to all kinds of resources, even legal resources, if you want to get ahead of the game and we're gonna leave in that mofo, which I highly recommend. But we're not talking about that kind of fear here, because that is one that you got to get professional help with, because, if you're, I don't want anyone to ever put their life in danger. So we're gonna talk about other fears, like societal judgment and loneliness, and I'm sure there's a lot more in here. But I'm just reading all this list and expanding on what I can't expand on with my bandwidth I have today.
Speaker 1:But fear of being alone, that sucks, right, that sucks. No one wants to be alone, and I mean no, wait a minute, you know what I'm seeing? A lot of women who are like I don't want no man, I want to live in the forest and be a forest witch, and I think that sounds amazing too. So I think it goes both ways. Maybe, if you are scared to be alone, you need to ask yourself why do you have this picture of being alone as just like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna die by myself and I'm just gonna have nothing to do and no one to talk to, yada, yada, yada? Or, if you are you thinking for my different mindset like, oh my gosh, if I was alone, I don't have to pick up after no man. I don't have to cook. No man, no meals. I don't have to worry about you know, him getting on to me, for if I come home late I can just go wherever I won't have to work without having to answer questions, yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 1:If you're afraid of being alone, you need to flip that script and think about how amazing it's gonna be when you're alone. And I love my relationship. But let me tell you, those few months I had alone, y'all I got snatched up quick. I didn't have that much of a single life, but I did live in my house alone for a couple months and I felt like a damn queen, not to say I don't feel like a queen now, but I was like man. I'm queen of this castle. I can do whatever I won't. I can just, you know, turn up the music, dance around naked, act stupid and just feel awesome. I mean, I can do that now too. But it hits different when you have the house to yourself or when you're alone. And if your mom's, I know you're never gonna be like truly alone. So you got your kids with you.
Speaker 1:That's a positive to think as well, if this is one of your fears, like you don't want to leave because you don't want to be alone. That could be part of your shadow work, to flipping your mindset, to not thinking being alone is a negative thing and you won't always be alone. Like. You can find someone if you want to a partner in your future. It doesn't have to be like, oh I'm gonna die, a crazy cat lady with two cats. Some people actually like that shit and they want that shit and that's great if you do again flip your mindset. But it doesn't have to be that way. Like you have a life out there beyond your imagination. You could never imagine how great your life can be. Your brain, if you're in an abusive relationship or a miserable, shitty situation, your brain just cannot comprehend the amazing time that you're capable of having. It just can't. But I am here. That's why I'm here. I'm here to tell you that you have that in your future. If you want that in your future because again, you are not stuck I promise you there are amazing things out there waiting for you. But you have to do the shadow work. You have to overcome these fears. You have to overcome these unhealthy behaviors that you might, you know face.
Speaker 1:And another one is societal judgment. Like that one was pretty big for me. I did not want to come out as an abused woman because I had this really tough exterior that I've had to, you know, come up in therapy a lot Like I have to always put on this brave, freaking face Like I'm just one tough, badass bitch. So for me to admit that no, I was under someone's complete control took a huge hit on my ego. I'll just admit it. It did y'all, and that is a part of my shadow of self. I had to work on like just recognizing that, because what happened to me happened to me does not change me at all. What happened to me can happen to anyone. I mean, y'all remember Rihanna. She is one of the biggest badass bitches ever and y'all saw what Chris Brown did to her face and people still support Chris Brown.
Speaker 1:What the fuck is up with that? Oh my God. That just goes to show women need to rescue themselves and change this shit like because that's ridiculous, ridiculous. So that judgment is very real. People will judge you absolutely. I struggle with that a lot. I still do to a certain point. But that's something you can also work on, like don't blame yourself for your situation, don't worry about what other people think, and that's so much easier said than done. So much easier said than done.
Speaker 1:So now you may be asking yourself, oh great, you're telling me all this bullshit about me, but you're not telling me how the hell to overcome it. Well, a lot of the stuff we're already using can help you overcome it, like the whole meditation, self-reflection, quiet time just to be in your scary ass mind and understand where your deep-rooted problems start, to where they can, to quiet yourself and learn where that's coming from. So you know where to start. So you know how to fix the problem. But I'm going to suggest two things here that has helped me. One find a therapist. Find a freaking therapist.
Speaker 1:I went through a lot of therapists y'all to find my therapist now, and my therapist now is freaking amazing. She is just. I've been with her for several years. She was there with me before I even filed for divorce to the whole trauma healing after. And I still go to her Now, mostly just for me and my daughter, because my daughter's a pre-teen and I'm like, oh yeah, she, I need her to grow up healthy. So it's just find a therapist. You don't have to settle on the first one, and if you're in the US you're probably like bitch, I can't afford a therapist. That shit is expensive.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you about a wonderful tool I used to help me when I couldn't always afford therapy as much as I needed to, and that is called the Enneagram. Now you've probably heard about this before, but using the Enneagram was the easiest way for me to see what my issues were, that maybe I didn't even know, and I'm gonna give you an example. But first let me tell you real quick what the Enneagram is. It's basically a personality test and it gives you numbers like one through eight, and in these numbers, whatever number you land on, you can also have like a subtype. So say, you can be an Enneagram three, which is like a high achiever, and you can have like a subtype of a four. You can go up or down a two, and then it gets even deeper y'all. And I can't go into that because it's gonna take me forever. But let me just give you a general feeling about how I use the Enneagram.
Speaker 1:I am an Enneagram four, all right. So you got Enneagram one, which is the perfectionist. You got two it's like the helper. Three, the achiever for the creative or individualist Five is oh, what is five? Five is like I think of as like a raven claw, like a kind of introverted nerdy book nerd has to research everything. Six is the loyalist. My husband is a six. I love six.
Speaker 1:Seven is like the partier and these are not the official titles, y'all. This is just how I see them in my head. Seven's like the positive partier. I'm always having to go do all that fun stuff. Eight is the asshole. My ex-husband was an eight and nine was the peacemaker. No offense to eights out there. I actually took this test not long ago and I have a lot of eight tendencies and I blame my management experience. Now, eight's not always an asshole. You can be a healthy eight, so you can definitely be that dominant type in a healthy way. But my experiences with eights have been all unhealthy eights and they've been extremely abusive. So I am a four. I am a creative individualist and with a three subtype ha-ha, high achiever. We all knew that one.
Speaker 1:But when I started studying the Enneagram, I use a book and I think it's called the complete Enneagram. I don't know, there's a bunch. I get a bunch of books. I Looked up like be aware of this, you know this is, this could be your strengths, this could be your weaknesses and y'all. It is spot on, spot on. It is so spot on when you start studying the Enneagram that You're gonna know someone's Enneagram type before they ever take the test.
Speaker 1:So I actually started using this with my team Recently because I'm like I want to do some team building. I want to find healthy ways we can give each other feedback based on personality types. I made everybody in my team the whole like 50 person department, including the leaders take this Enneagram test so we can learn how to give you feedback better. Right, and we all did it and I already knew some of these people's types and it was so awesome to see that I was right in these types and it has been a game changer. So my the leadership in my department uses this now to say, okay, this is this person's strengths, this is this person's weaknesses.
Speaker 1:This person might be coming to us like In a rude manner, but it's not because they're being rude, it's because they're seeing the situation in this way. So highly recommend this for everybody in your life, for you to start seeing okay, this person's not a true jerk or this person's not Truly like scatterbrained, they're just anxious or they're just. They need more direct. You know Feedback, things like that. That's what you're gonna do with yourself. So you're gonna start learning about the Enneagram and then you're going to apply that how, how you can serve your shadow self and fix your shadow self. And I'll give you an example of mine.
Speaker 1:Okay, enneagram fours have an unhealthy behavior to do something called a push pull. Now, when I first read about this, I Felt like such an asshole because I was like, oh my gosh, I do that and I I I can't believe. I'm admitting this. When I met my husband now, back when we were dating, I Did this thing like where it was just like, oh, I love you, but no, get away. Oh, no, come back. I love you, no, get away. It was so horrible. It was some toxic ass behavior and I didn't know why I did it and I didn't even know I was doing it. I just knew my brain was screwed up. Right, some healing from this trauma. Thank God I have an Enneagram six loyalist who sticks by my side, no matter what, I don't know, like he's a unicorn y'all, he's just a unicorn like he stuck by me through all this healing After abuse and that's ugly.
Speaker 1:That's some serious shadow work, and so I learned that about myself and I learned why I was doing this push-pull thing. It was because, you know, I'm scared. But then you know, as a four, I have these. I put way too much pressure on people. I have these ideals that, like, no one can live up to. I had to accept that no one will ever live up to the ideals in my head. It's not possible and it was really horrible for me to Try to expect people to live up to ideals that are impossible. And I had to accept that and I'd accept this push-pull bullshit idea that I didn't even know. But then I read about. I'm like, oh crap, that's me. Oh crap, that's why I've been doing that and I fixed it. I recognized it and I fixed it. I don't do it anymore Because I worked on that part of my shadow self and I didn't have the I didn't have the funds to Do that in therapy.
Speaker 1:All the time I went to therapy, like once a month, that was all I could afford, and Even at that, not even that, you know. Maybe it was once every two or three months when I felt like I really needed someone else talk to, but other than that I used any aground. So look into the India ground. Just get a book Okay, the one I have right here is called the complete any aground with twenty-sef twenty-seven passed to greater self knowledge by Dr Beatrice Chestnut. That is the one that gave me the most insight and it also tells your pairing y'all. And it said I think it was this book. Maybe this was Google. You can also Google this information, as everywhere. If you want to do that, that's even more free. But I love this. But it changed my life. But one of them Was like a pairing of a for me and an eight my ex often leads to physical violence and I'm like, oh, where has this been all my freaking life? It's so scary, spot-on like super scary, which ties into our Halloween talks. So Get spooky with yourself this Halloween.
Speaker 1:Do some shadow work, because you're not gonna get when you want to go. You're not gonna have that amazing, incredible time that you can't even imagine for your life, until you do this horrible, horrible shadow work. Shit, it sucks. There's a reason people hate shadow work, because it's hard. But, man, the benefits you're going to reap when you do it. You're gonna level up like truly, you will feel different, you'll just feel different and you're gonna be aware of issues. So you won't do that shit anymore and that's how you grow.
Speaker 1:And this has been a little bit of a longer podcast I don't like to record, but I think all this information is super important and I'm gonna tie it up with a nifty analogy that Chad GBT who we're gonna find a name for this mofo Gave me, and this is why I use it y'all. I couldn't come up with a shit, or maybe I could have, but it would have taken me like days and this took me 10 seconds. In Conclusion, it says Engaging in shadow work is like exploring a haunted house within ourselves. Some rooms might be locked, others filled with forgotten memories or lurking fears, but, as with any haunted house, facing those fears and unlocking those doors can be empowering.
Speaker 1:Halloween, as a time of mystery, darkness and introspection, offers a compelling backdrop to discuss the concept of the shadow and the transformative power of Facing it. Now is the time you're hearing this, now for a reason. I Would go get your enneagram book or go find a therapist, sit down, be quiet, take this Halloween as the time to confront those shadows within yourself and plant those new intentions for the new year, because, remember it's which is new year, do it all at the same time and by this time next year, if you stick to it, you're gonna be a whole new person and you're gonna finally see all those wonderful things that have been waiting on you for so long on the other side. Thank you so much for listening. If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these Words, because so many women are filling stock.
Speaker 1:Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the ground at author cat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website. And that's cat Adams. Adams with a double D's comm. Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. Also, when you subscribe, you're gonna get free novella. And Just be forewarned, my or on to rom-com is as dirty as my mouth. So if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious. But thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side, oh.
