You're Not Stuck
From rom-com author to women empowerment advocate, Kat Addams guides women on the enlightened path to becoming unstuck. As a domestic abuse survivor, she tackles the nitty-gritty of what it takes to liberate yourself and embark on a journey to freedom from miserable situations. Kat’s no bull-shit approach to self-transformation includes shameless insights, progressive practices, and spiritual growth with a heavy dose of humor and f-bombs. If you’re looking for a sign to leave, this is it. You’re not stuck. Join the journey and start taking charge of your life by listening now. New episodes drop every Monday to start your week off strong. Also, Mondays suck. Kat's here to make it better.
You're Not Stuck
Feminine Energy Unleashed: Conquering Internalized Misogyny
Have you ever noticed that sometimes the most damaging critiques come from your own mind? I know, I've been there; questioning my worth, my appearance, my decisions - all because of societal norms ingrained deep within my psyche. Tune in as I share my solidarity and journey towards triumphing over internalized misogyny.
We'll talk about the insidious concept of "pick me girls," scrutinize the impact of media consumption on our mental health, especially when it comes to violence against women in the entertainment industry Lastly, I'll invite you to embark on this movement toward self-awareness and liberation from these harmful societal norms. Listen in as I lay the smack down on accountability and how we can choose better, do better, and create better.
Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
Also, some links in my show notes may be affiliate links. This means I earn a tiny amount of money if you buy a product I recommend. You should know, I never recommend crap.
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It's time to wake up witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that, no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck. Good morning If you're listening to this in the morning. Good afternoon, good evening if you're not.
Speaker 1:So today is after Thanksgiving weekend and, as you know, if you've been listening to my previous episodes, I've had a long week off. So I've been trying to. Trying to is the keyword here work in bank, a bunch of these podcast episodes, so I don't have to work in December. And it's not been going so well. I've had, you know, family coming into town and feeling torn this way and torn that way, and having to be true to myself and say, hey, I needed this time because I was like on the verge of a mental breakdown last week and it's okay. I need this time for me to rest and to just kind of check out and check away from everybody, because, you know, I haven't had a long time and forever. And I'm trying to. I'm trying to tell myself that's okay, because that's hard y'all, that's hard choosing yourself, especially as a woman and especially as a mom. It's hard to choose yourself. So I have been doing that. But also, like you know my daughter, she's got a friend over and I want to do some fun stuff with them and, yeah, like I've been busy, so I've not been able to bank these episodes and only have one more day off, one more day.
Speaker 1:So I've decided, instead of trying to do it all, which I think would put me at four more episodes I need to record. I'm only going to do three and I'm going to take the last week of December off because that is my 40th birthday and I need the break. So hopefully I will pick back up in January. Actually, I'm going to go ahead and record one for January. I think that makes three. That way I don't have to come back from my birthday celebrations and be like, oh my gosh, I got to work. So just some tidbits of my life. You know I stay busy. You know I stay busy and when I'm not working at my full-time job, I'm working with my podcasting and my books, because it's my passion and that's what drives me and makes me feel like I'm doing good in the world, which is kind of what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about kind of the good things you can do in the world and changing your mindset and how you might be in a mindset that is called internalized Misogyny. And what is that right? We're all guilty of it to some extent and I'm going to tell you my story here in a bit on how I used to be and I'm not anymore, because I recognize it. But first let me tell you what it is.
Speaker 1:So internalized misogyny refers to the involuntary belief by women and the negative stereotypes and social norms about women that are prevalent in their culture. This phenomenon occurs when women consciously or unconsciously accept and propagate the sexist messages that are ingrained in society. Here's some key aspects. So origin and societal norms.
Speaker 1:Internalized misogyny arises from living in a society where sexist attitudes and stereotypes are pervasive. These norms and attitudes are often absorbed unconsciously from a young age. It can manifest in various ways, such as women judging themselves or other women, harshly reinforcing gender stereotypes, competing with other women under patriarchal standards or devaluing women and their achievements. Women experience internalized misogyny. May regulate their behavior till line with societal expectations of femininity, often at the cost of their own needs and desires. This can involve women criticizing others for not adhering to traditional gender roles or for challenging gender norms, often without realizing that these judgments are grounded in sexist beliefs. Internalized misogyny can affect relationships between women, leading to competition mistrust and a lack of solidarity and support. It can also have negative consequences on mental health, contributing to issues like low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.
Speaker 1:The expression and impact of internalized misogyny can vary significantly across different cultures and individual experiences. Addressing it involves awareness and critical examination of one's own beliefs and attitude. It often requires challenging societal norms and engaging in feminist discourses that promote gender equality. Education, community support and open discussions about these stereotypes and sexism plays a crucial role in helping individuals recognize and overcome internalize misogyny, and that's what we're going to talk about today, because I've noticed it. I noticed it in all women.
Speaker 1:We all have it to an extent and I used to be so bad about this, but I've changed my mindset and I'm so much happier and I've changed the things that I put in my head and I've gone so much further in life in just doing these things, where I feel like I'm not having to constantly compare myself, you know, to everyone or be in a competition. Now look, I am not perfect. Yes, I still do this to an extent, but I don't look at other women as my competition, and I used to do that, but, yes, I do still get hard on myself for some things. But let's talk about this. Let's talk about being a better you. So, because this is the time now, right, when you're trying to gather all my new years resolution, what can I do to be a better me? What can I do to change me? You know, we've gone through all this empowering knowledge in this podcast and in the book and I know now, you know about the whole woo-hoo-joo-joo, high vibration manifestation and just being more educated on these subjects that affect me and my kids in the world. And now what? Let's put it all together and how do I want to go into 2024?
Speaker 1:And remember when I talked about that whole series is my husband abusive or is he an asshole? Well, you can start by not being an asshole yourself and recognizing some of the stuff you might do that makes you an asshole. And so first, let's talk about this internalized misogyny, because I'm seeing it a lot on TikTok and the. I believe and some people hate this term, but those that support it are the pick me girls. If you don't know what a pick me girl is, it's like the girl that's like. I'm not like other women. I'm one of the cool girls. I'm one of the ladies, man or man's lady or whatever and they're like pick me, pick me. I'm not like them. I'm so much better. I'm just not like other females. Yada, yada, yada. They're the women you see at the Trump rallies that are wearing the shirts that say I'd let Trump grab me by the pussy. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:And I want to go back to a couple episodes ago, which was only a couple days ago. I was talking about this. I was talking about the Matt Reif, the Netflix special, and I was saying how I turned it off within like the first, what? Two, three, four minutes because he made a domestic violence joke. That wasn't funny. But again, like I'm not going to support that and I didn't know until a long time to TikTok the other day, because you know my love hate relationship with TikTok, I know apologies if you've been like where is she on TikTok? I go through phases, you're just going to have to accept it. I post like a ton for months and then I stop and then I post a ton for months again. I just get burned out. But I dig it on TikTok because I do look at it and I get like recipes and stuff and whatever. But Matt Reif came up on there and a lot of women are canceling him it's like a whole cancel culture thing, you know and he got mad and he was like, oh well, if you were offended at my jokes, then here's my official apology. And you click on the link in his profile I think it was an Instagram or whatever and it sent you to a website for special needs helmets for children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my intuition was spot on that this dude is a great, a douchebag. But I'm so proud of women not supporting this. I am so proud of women not supporting this. It was all over TikTok. Women are like hell no, hell no, this isn't okay. Like fuck you, matt Reif. Basically like we're not going to support you anymore.
Speaker 1:Supposedly his career is tanking. I don't know, I don't know his numbers. I hope it is, because you know what he deserves it he, what he was saying was just awful. It was just like so douchey, so frat boy, so like it just unattractive and disgusting, I don't know. And then, like he talks about women, he like fat shames women, slut shames, women. Oh, he was talking about women who love their crystals and like made a best station stuff and how we're all crazy, but if you want my take on that subject, I feel like there's an awakening going on with women in the world Finally realizing our power and how.
Speaker 1:If you look into it right I'm going to go off on a tangent here real quick If you look into it and I'm not trying to offend anybody, if you are, you know one of that followers of the Abrahamic, I think it's what's called religions like Christianity and Muslim Judaism. I don't think Judaism is one, I don't know the male dominated religions, the male written religions. If you look back before that, there's a lot of I don't know if I'd even call them religions. There's a lot of like spirituality and stuff. When cultures worshiped women and when women were held in very high regard and they were not, like you know, servants. They were. They were like matriarchies and stuff. They were very powerful. And then men came in and destroyed it all.
Speaker 1:And I was walking in nature the other day and look, I'm just gonna. You know my beliefs. I'm not religious. I don't follow any one religion. I'm really not quite sure what I believe. I definitely believe, like, in the feminine power.
Speaker 1:And I'm just walking in nature the other day and I was just looking around and I was like nature and archer and I was doing my walking meditation and I'm like I don't think a man could have made this stuff. I don't think a man could have made these beautiful flowers and beautiful trees and the birds singing and the bunnies hopping around and the deer playing. I don't think a man made that. I just don't, I don't, I don't. I mean, it's so beautiful, it's so lovely, it's such feminine energy when you step out of nature. I think a woman did it, but I'm gonna leave that right there.
Speaker 1:I don't know how I got off on that tangent and talking about matriarch, but so I was proud of these women for stopping supporting matriarch. But when I was looking at those TikToks, of course there were the TikToks of the men who were like oh, sensitive, feminine women. And also there were the TikToks of women saying like women just need to grow up. Women need to be stopping so sensitive. I want to go see Matt Reif. Still, I'll buy your tickets if you want to get rid of your tickets album. That's a pit me girl, all right.
Speaker 1:And it's also the whole internalized misogyny, like how do you expect women to do better and get further ahead when you don't support your fellow women, like I don't understand it. Why wouldn't you? You know, just because this woman's story isn't your own experience, we all, I can guarantee you, we all have experiences with, like a dangerous male, a predatory male, sexual harassment, yada, yada, yada. That's just the nature of it. We do. And for pick me girls or I'm just gonna call them pick me girls I don't have another name for them Like the internalized misogynist ladies for you to support that, like you're not doing us females any favors. We never going to be in charge, and a lot of you want that because it goes back to the internalized misogyny you don't believe we should be.
Speaker 1:You believe that narrative that men say to keep women from being in power, oh well, she might get her period and she's super emotional, so we can't have a woman in power. Have you seen Trump on a tirade and women, y'all listen to that and you believe it and you're like, oh yeah, women are so crazy and you internalize this bullshit and it's like you're brainwashed. I mean, you're brainwashed. Same with religions that say you know, women shouldn't be in church and men should be the head of households, and yada, yada, yada. If you want to believe that, for yourself fine, but don't put those beliefs on other women. Don't say this woman shouldn't be out here doing this because I can't do that, because you know what a lot of this also comes from, I have learned it also comes from a lot of its jealousy. So a lot of this internalized misogyny is actually jealousy, and I'm going to tell you my experience with this.
Speaker 1:I used to have a very negative attitude, probably in my early 20s, I think, especially about other women, and most of it was jealousy. I was going to church, I was a Christian and you know the modest culture thing, and I was a jealous woman. I was, I was a jealous woman and I used to put other women down that weren't like me, or I would think I was holier than now and I was just better, and I surrounded myself by people who did the same. I had very close people in my life who had the exact same catty attitude, and when I started like working on myself, I got out of religion and I just started seeing the good in people and like I felt better about myself, oh, you know what kind of came in at the same time. So I had struggled with my weight back then too, and I'm sure this played a ton in it. I struggled with my weight and I lost like 40 pounds and I felt good about myself and I didn't feel jealous anymore about other women because, first, I'm focusing on myself. Second, I feel good about myself, I feel confident and third, I didn't like like the negative consequences of my behavior, the negative mental health space. So I completely transformed my life and I slowly got rid of most of that toxicity. Of course, it always creeps back in y'all, it always creeps back in right. So I didn't think like that anymore.
Speaker 1:And then I had, like, met friends all right, so-called, I thought, friends and they were like you need to go to this church thing. It's just a women's retreat. I know it's church, but you need to go to it. And I went and it was like this woman's class. And the woman, the speaker, was like don't you just hate that woman? That's got it all together and she's got like she bakes these cookies from scratch and she's got her house clean. I don't know. And I'm like don't I just hate that woman? No, I don't think like that anymore. I'm so far beyond that, in fact, like I'll look at a woman like that and like, damn it. I need to do better. I don't not like screw you, bitch, I hate you. I'm so jealous. No, it's like huh, how does she do that? I wonder what tips I can take from this situation and do better for myself, and I don't know. I think that's a lot healthier, is it? I think so, anyways, yeah, so I went to that and I'm like you know, I can't do it. That was the only class I attended.
Speaker 1:I dropped those people for my life, turns out they were a big bunch of Karens anyways, obviously because they would do the same thing. And then, you know, I had other friends in my life and we would go out and they would be like, just talking about other women Ooh, can you see what she's wearing? And I dropped them too, like I just I can't, I just can't. And then I have some women in my life who, if they see another girl that's prettier than them or that is happy and live in life, and she may dress different and she's, you know, pretty, and they feel threatened or something in some kind of way. They have a name for those women and I don't even wanna say it because I don't want anybody, I don't wanna call anybody out on my podcast, but they have a name for those women and they're always like did you see that? You know, named a woman? Did you see that? I mean, I'm not, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1:She was just, and the latest time was like this person was talking to me and she's like, oh yeah, she just got divorced and she was over there and she's got these tattoos and she's wearing her short shorts and just laughing and smiling and she just she looked like one of these women. And just the bitterness in this girl's voice as she was telling me this, or this woman's voice who was acting like a little girl as she was telling me this, I was just like I kind of felt like, well, that was me a few years ago after my divorce, laughing and feeling free. She should be feeling great for this woman. But instead, no, she's jealous of this woman, and it comes down to again, jealousy over you don't have confidence in yourself, or jealousy over someone living a lifestyle that you don't allow yourself to live. And that can go back to religion, because some of us are like, how dare she be wearing a bathing suit and frolicking on the beach? Because I don't allow myself to wear a bathing suit. I wear a potato sack because I'm modest, because Jesus, or because my husband doesn't want anyone to see my goodies except me. So how dare she be wearing that?
Speaker 1:And again that you putting your values on somebody else and that's bullshit. And it's internalized misogyny over like the whole religious thing and you're trying to control somebody else and what they do and what they say and how they look. But it's also internalized misogyny because you're jealous. Come on, let's just admit it. You're jealous that woman's happy and you're oppressed and you don't want to admit it. So because another woman doesn't fall in line with your lifestyle and your values, because another woman might choose something different, because another woman might have casual sex, because there's this whole saying oh my gosh, a lot to unpack around female sexuality that I'm not even gonna go into. Because apparently women aren't supposed to have sex, women aren't supposed to enjoy sex, women aren't supposed to be sexy. But then again, we are supposed to be sexy.
Speaker 1:I don't know lots of mixed messages here and women love judging other women on that. They love it, they love it. That's like how dare she be out there gallivant and having casual sex because that's a sin and she needs to close her legs and blah, blah, blah, and it comes down to jealousy. You judge in other women because they're out there having fun, they're in control of their life, they're not oppressed by some you know whatever religious text or values that don't align with your values, and you jealous because they're happy. So how about you just mind your own business, keep your opinions to yourself and unpack some of the stuff that you may be thinking about other women and how it relates to you. So if you see a woman out there like killing it in her career and she's got kids at home, and you're like, well, yeah, she should be spending time with her kids instead of working, because women supposed to be raising their kids.
Speaker 1:Same thing with, like the casual sex thing. Like that's your values, that's what you believe. Why would you pin that on another woman? How will we ever progress as women if we're pitted against each other all the time? And I know people cringe when they talk about the patriarchy, but this is the way it's set up. It's set up to brainwash you to believe other women are your enemy and they're not. Gosh, I could go on about this forever, so all I'm gonna say there is maybe you can stop pinning your values and beliefs on other women and work on yourself and stop judging other women for living their best life and for the choices they make. If they don't align with yours, that's okay. That's their life, it doesn't affect you. Get over it.
Speaker 1:Check in with your jealously level. If you're jealous, work on yourself. If you're like, hey, she's beautiful, she looks so much better than me, you know, and I'm struggling with this weight, go work out. Don't look over there. Look in the mirror Like it's okay to you know. Struggle with yourself. But don't take that out on other people, especially your pillow women. Like again, they want us fighting with any other.
Speaker 1:So deal with your internalized misogyny First and stop and think when you feel like, oh, I hate that woman because she's so perfect. Instead, like, check in with yourself. Why are you being a bitter cow? I mean, I'm not trying to even be mean about it Like a lot of women I had in my life are beautiful and I would think they look so perfect on the outside, but the way they talk about other women is just gross and disgusting. And if you have people in your life like this, don't have women in your life like that anymore. Like women, support other women. Those are the successful women you need to surround yourself with so you can go further in life, not women who are dragging other women down. Women need to lift each other up. If you don't have those women in your life, get rid of them. I promise you you're not gonna miss it. Like that's that negative, dark doo-doo energy we talk about all the time. Get rid of it.
Speaker 1:So, moving on to topic two, after the internalized misogyny, and you deal with all that shit in your head and all that bitterness and you get rid of all the negative, dark, doo-doo energy in your head and in your life. You're going to think about what you support and what you put inside your head, and I found a great quote on this. It says when you choose what to watch or read, you're choosing your future. Thoughts and perspectives Only consume what you'd like to become. And I just like snatched this off of a Facebook recommended it to me from, like, mark Manson whoever that is I hope he's not like a douchebag, because that was a good quote.
Speaker 1:So I've always said if you put trash in, you get trash out. So there's some things I don't I don't put in my head. One of those is and this isn't I'm not judging on this at all Like. This is just me and this is a simple example. It's nothing like, it's nothing detrimental or harmful.
Speaker 1:I don't watch horror movies. I mean I will watch something scary but I won't put. I won't watch horror movies because when I put that in my head and this is like a physical example I get it. I guess it could be physical. I get it out Like I have nightmares.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's cause of trauma, I don't know, but I just don't feel good. I don't. I can't get it out of my head. So I put trash in there, I get trash out. I feel like crap. You know, after a few days I don't like watching people being like tortured or anything like that. It just does not make me feel good. Now, that's not to say not only watch happy, feel good movies. Hell, no, I actually like stuff that just breaks my heart and does not be tied up with a happy bow. That's why I don't read a lot of romance. I don't like a happy ending. I need something to rip my heart out, stomp on it and make me think for a few days, not make me like feel ill and disgusted because I just watched a human being tortured Like I need a love story that brings me into life, you know, in a horrible way at the end, like somebody dies, not, but not like with a chainsaw. So that's kind of like a physical example, I guess, of you put trash in, you get trash out.
Speaker 1:Same with news. Be careful in what news sources you watch. If you consume news all day, you know you feel like shit. So I told y'all before I need to do better at this because I'm regressing. I read news on Reddit usually and that's my news source and I just read it once a day. Once a day, not before bed, not first thing in the morning, like around lunchtime. So I don't want to get trash out of my head, because reading the news can be like putting a ton of trash in your head. So be careful what you read, what you consume, yada, yada, yada. Same with hey.
Speaker 1:You can relate this to food. If you're drinking a bunch of alcohol and eating a bunch of fried foods and sugars, what do you think you're gonna get out of that? You're gonna feel like shit. You're probably gonna look like shit, unless you're one of those lucky women we hate, right, with the good genes. But it's gonna make your health go down. You're gonna feel like trash. You eat trash. You're gonna feel like trash. And you know, I think this is funny because my brand is so trashy. I'm so trashy and I can joke about it, you know what? Because it's my own trauma, it's my own shit. So I can joke about it. But in the reality is, I don't put trash in my head. And there's a couple of things I wanna point out to you along these lines, and then we're gonna wrap it up.
Speaker 1:But one is that recent. Let me bring it up here on my computer. It's the recent statistic I told y'all about in my previous podcast, and it's porn. You know, it is 88.2% of physical violence in the popular form. There was a study yada, yada, yada, popular porn. 88.2% of that had physical violence against women. 48.7% of it had verbal or name calling against women.
Speaker 1:Porn culture has gotten out of hand y'all. I'm not judging if you're looking at it, whatever, I don't give a shit. I'm just telling you the reality of it and you can do better. Is there ethical porn sites out there? I don't know. I think so. They're probably like the paid stuff. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't done that research. I'm just telling you about porn and how women are like oh well, you know, all men do it and yada, yada, it's okay, blah, blah, blah. But you're supporting An industry that is not supporting women. If you look into it, a lot of those women are trafficked, they're abused, they're coerced, they're like you know, they're director or whatever it'll be like oh, this person signed a contract to not do this sexual act, but when it gets going, they coerce them into doing that sexual act and it's just, it's sad what happens in that industry. Go look it up, do research, watch the documentary. I think there's one on, I think it's Netflix, I don't know it's.
Speaker 1:Porn industry is really harmful to women and it's making the men think this is what we want, the physical violence and again I go back to that other quote. It was like I forget who said it, but it was women. Men can't empathize with women's pain because they're too busy jerking off to it, like they get off on the rape and the torture and all that shit like spitting on women, slapping women, and it can condition women to believe that's what they want too. And I think I've talked about that euphoria seen before on here. But yeah, that was very telling If you've seen euphoria where it's like those teenagers and it's the first time they're doing it and like he chokes her or something and she freaks out and he's like I didn't know, I thought that's what I was supposed to do, and like she felt like so violated because he learned it from porn. So I know we like to make excuses for men on oh well, you know every man does it Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:And yeah, but first work on yourself. You know that's what it's always about. It's not changing your partner. You need to change yourself and you need to see stuff differently and the reality of it. Like, if you support that stuff, then you know you're not helping us get any further, you're not helping us make progress. And another thing also it's not only what you watch. That's like going back to Matt Rye as soon as he made that comment about domestic violence click, turn it off. Didn't support it. Those women on TikTok who were like I'm canceling this mofo, great, that is what I'm talking about. Turn it off. Don't give them your valuable time and your valuable energy. You are too valuable to stoop that low. Just turn it off, move on, choose better, do better.
Speaker 1:Another thing is the books. The books oh my gosh, I'm gonna get a lot of flack for this always do. And it's a big reason why I just got disgusted with the romance community, because when I was writing, you know the bully romance. I've said it a million times, you're gonna hear it again Bully romance was big. What's bully romance? Oh, it's basically when you know a man abuses this woman and she's like but I love him and then all of a sudden he changes. Yeah, bullshit. And I always get countered with.
Speaker 1:But you don't go after women who were writing about killing somebody or horror books and blah, blah, blah. The difference between these books is these women ain't falling in love with a man who's like in a horror story, gonna kill them or whatever. Maybe they are, but it doesn't show the man like changing and loving her back or whatever like. No, that's not real. It's not real in abusive situations and we need to stop giving telling women this. We need to stop. Stop telling women he'll change. Stop telling women. You know that it's okay to be with a man and yada, yada, yada who's like that, because maybe he'll change or maybe you can, I don't know pray they abuse away or whatever. Stop telling women that. Stop telling it through their books. You know, if you're.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of romance authors that I respect, but they're writing this stuff about like women being kidnapped and carved up on their stomach with a man's initials and a knife and they're like, well, I love him. And all of a sudden at the end it's like, oh well, you know, I love you, woman and I'm gonna change for you, or I'm gonna just do this to other people instead of you and they fall in love with these psychos. We're responsible for putting that stuff out there as authors, but also as readers, and you're like, oh well, I like that. That's my kink, or you kink shame, and I think some kink should be shamed. Unpopular opinion but yeah, did y'all even see there's like some pedophilia stuff going around? That's like we should support pedophiles, or are you fucking kidding me? No, are we this far lost? Women? Get control of yourselves. It's okay to like wanna read stuff. You know where I get it.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of the popular thing was with being kidnapped. Is you got a man finally to take you away from all this shit like screaming kids and washing dishes and whatever he's just going to you know, take care of you, but make the decisions so you don't have to use your brain to make the decisions. And a lot of it's also goes back to the internalized massage. Anywhere women can't and I'm about to go deep here women can't be responsible for their own pleasure because it's sinful and it's wrong. So if you're forced in like a kidnapping, rapy situation to do that, then it's okay Because that's not you choosing to be sinful. You know what I mean. I told you I was gonna go deep here. It's that too. If you look at other cultures I did. I found a study. I think it might've been Sweden, that, or maybe it was Switzerland, one of those Scandinavian countries that always has their shit together.
Speaker 1:That kind of romance books, things like that bully romance and like dark romance, isn't popular at all. Like women actually reject it. They don't care for that because they haven't been oppressed. Where they feel like grown up in like a super oppressive religious type setting where that would be okay and where they feel like they can't be in control of their own sexuality, like they're fighting this what is it called Cognitive distance on their sexuality, on their own pleasure? Like they want to be able to be sexual beings and be in control of their own pleasure. But no, no, no, because you're gonna go to hail, right. So close your legs and stop sinning. You hate them, right? And so they struggle with that, and that's one of the reasons why it's so popular. Look, I told y'all I'm getting deep in, real deep here, and I'm going on and on and on.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to give you examples of some of the stuff we support and some of the stuff we do as women that's holding us back. Like what you're reading, what you're writing, what you're working toward, is it holding you back? Is it holding women back as a whole? And if you're like I don't care about other women, then why are you listening to this podcast? Like this is what it's all about is helping each other, empowering each other so we can do better, so we can do those bigger things right. Getting women unstuck so they can have the power, so they can write those laws. Cause I guarantee you, if this was a woman's world, we wouldn't have wars anymore and every child would not go hungry in the entire world. I guarantee it.
Speaker 1:Tell me a woman you know in your life don't say Marjorie Green-Taylor or Lauren Brebert, who would deny a child, a starving child, dude. I mean, come on, come on, like women need to be in power, we need to fix this. I told y'all we're waking up. I don't care if you think of crystals and the jujitsu or whatever. I truly think women have a lot of power and that's why we've been oppressed for so long. Men know that, so they've had to, like, keep their foot on their neck, right? I mean, if you go back before these man-made religions, you can see that. You guys see it. I mean, come on, our menstrual cycles are usually synced up to the moon. That's some of the jujitsu stuff. I think we all got a little bit of witch in us and they're scared and they should be because you're coming to change the laws.
Speaker 1:You're coming to change the laws on school shootings. You're coming to change the laws on child poverty and hunger. You're coming to change the laws on the pay gap. You're coming to change the laws on domestic violence. You know that things in the court right now, that Raminie thing where it's like the Supreme Court has to vote on whether men convicted of domestic violence who have a restraining order should be allowed guns, y'all, this isn't the fucking Supreme Court. Why is this even a thing? This is a no brainer. One of the judges, or somebody, or the lawyer in that court said something like the difference between a battered woman and a dead woman is a gun. How powerful is that statement? Y'all, wake up. We have to change this for our daughters, for ourselves, for the women that come after us. Like I'm tired I know y'all are gonna be tired too, so this is one little thing you can do. Change the things inside yourself, change the things you read, the things you support, what you consume, and do better.
Speaker 1:And one of the things I wanted to do this year, which I have been, is volunteering, just reaching out to some organizations that support causes you like and volunteer. One of mine is a domestic violence shelter. I've been doing just little things for them, just writing stuff. It's easy. I'm doing it from home. They all need your help. They all can use your help. There's a lot of coalitions. There's the National Council on Domestic Violence. You can become a member and get all kinds of great resources and be part of their webinars and stuff. I plan on doing that soon. Yeah, just look around, there's all kinds of stuff. So do better and put better out in the world. And that's like do it during this holiday given season, right, the Yuletide Blessings and all that jazz. Put better stuff into your head so you can put better stuff into the world. No more trash. That's all I have today.
Speaker 1:I know I've been running really long on these podcasts and apologies if you're like I don't wanna hear this bitch anymore. I just have a lot to say and I'm trying to close the year out on a high note. So I hope you got something from this. I hope you stay safe. I hope you feel powerful and like the badass which you are, because you are and you have so much ahead of you. If you're feeling stuck, I promise you you're not stuck. You just have to change yourself. You can't change anybody else. No one's gonna come save you. You have to save yourself. So let's get ready to kick 2024 in the ass and let that be our year.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening. If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these words, because so many women are feeling stuck. Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the ground at author Cat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website and that's catadamsadamswitha-double-d'scom. Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. Also, when you subscribe, you're gonna get a free novella. And just be forewarned my Oronti romcom is as dirty as my mouth. So if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious. But thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side. Mode中国.
