You're Not Stuck

Oregon Drizzle to NYC Sizzle: Three Lessons I Learned in 2023 To Carry Into 2024

• Kat Addams • Episode 44

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Turning 40 in the pulsating heart of New York City was more than a landmark birthday celebration; it sparked a reawakening and shift in my mission toward advocating for victims of abuse. Come along as I discuss the lessons I learned traveling from coast to coast last year. We'll crawl through crowds, give some proper FU's, and dance in the rain. The journey isn't always pretty, but the destination is fan-freakin-tastic.  

Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
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Speaker 1:

It's time to wake up witches. I'm your host, cat Adams, and I'm here to remind you that no matter where you're at in life, you're not stuck you. Welcome back to the show. I say that as I am speaking to myself, because it has been a hot minute since I've recorded You'll. Today it is January 13th and I'm behind on podcast episodes because you know I like to batch record.

Speaker 1:

But Life right, all I've just gotten in the way. I have been busy, busy, busy and then also just kind of taking a break, reflecting on me doing the wintering thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back to previous podcast episodes, check for the Wintering one. I forget what it's titled, but I am in my prime wintering and I'm working on myself. So that's kind of what I've been up to, besides traveling and turning the big four. Oh yes, I am over the hill now, but but I couldn't think of a Boozier flash your way to do it because I spent my 40th birthday in New York City, eating Italian food, drinking wine, overlooking Times Square and All the festivities because they were setting up for New Year's Eve and it was just like it was amazing. But more on New York City here in a minute because I'm gonna get real with y'all about those experiences. I know I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do this podcast where it's like let's Work on how we can fix these New Year's resolutions because everyone has these same New Year's resolutions right, lose weight, pay off debt, work on a career, yada, yada, yada. But then Over my break I've been hit with like a bitch stop Because I do this I veer off course a lot and my niche is Women empowerment, but especially, especially for toxic relationships, and I want to keep going back to that because it's what I know and it's what I'm passionate about and it's what I feel called to do. So I'm kind of working on more of a structure for my podcast and and what I feel like is my mission in life. So I'm Kind of hunkering down while I'm wintering and figuring out what that looks like.

Speaker 1:

So I'm not gonna record a podcast on how to get out of debt. You want to. You don't want to figure out how to get out of debt. Do what I do go to Reddit. They have the answers for everything. There's so many books on how to get out of debt. There's so many books on how to fix your career or how to you know, accelerate in your career, how to maybe land that next promotion or get into a leadership position. There's so many books out there that can help you, but there is not, not, not, not enough people talking about how we can help women escape domestic abuse. And Especially in the way that I want to talk about it, like I, you know, every time I hear stuff about it it's very like Scientific, it's just dark, it's just no one's being like listen up, bitch. You know they're not like, they're not being authentic and this problem needs an authentic voice. So I've got some shit to figure out. I got some shit to figure out. So I don't know what the next podcast episode's gonna be like.

Speaker 1:

I Did just order the book and I've talked about it so many times in this podcast. It's called what is it called? Brain fart, y'all this early in the morning. It's called oh, why does he do that? By Matt Lundy, and it is an amazing book and it gets inside the mind of abusers. So I just ordered that. I've read it plenty of times and I I Think I bought like two or three times and I go through these phases were like, oh, I don't need this anymore.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to, you know, give it to the goodwill or whatever Back when I was married to my abuser and then I had to buy it again, I. And then I had to buy it again and then, like the last time, I bought it, it's just cause I wanted to refresh my memory on all this and then I was like, no, I need to get this out of the house. I don't want reminders, right? I don't want triggers, but I bought it again because I want to educate the masses, right? That's what it's all about. So I think maybe I'll dive into that. I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I am gonna do some work over this week, cause I only got a week to do this, to figure out what exactly my mission is. I'm gonna tighten that a little bit and work on a more structured how I can deliver that. And, of course, I'm still gonna have the woo woo, which you should, because I think that shit's cool as fuck and we need to awaken our inner, which he goddesses For real. So, also, this week, I am going to be a guest speaker on the Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence podcast. So I don't know when that recording is gonna go out, but I do record that this week. So I've got some work to do on that. I'm hoping to have like my mission and all that tightened up before that, cause that would be a disaster if I didn't right. I don't wanna go in there like not know what I'm talking about, but we're gonna be talking about like shifting your energy from changing your partner or changing yourself for your partner to changing you before you step out of an abusive relationship. So I will give you more information on that when it comes along.

Speaker 1:

Other than that, what I have happened up to, besides traveling, wintering, not drinking, right, this is dry January and I'm not even playing. I am counting down the days to February 1st, cause I'm gonna go get Mexican and margaritas, but honestly, it really hasn't been that bad. I bought some bitters and I have bought some club soda and like tart cherry juice and all kinds of stuff, limes and lemons, and I'm making mop towels and I've been having fun with it and honestly, it's been scratching that itch. I don't know like. I never thought I'd say that, but it's working and I'm still losing weight. I did gain a little bit of weight in New York because I ate pizza, I ate pasta, but I have gotten all but like half pound of it off. And if you remember the weight loss episode, I'm short as shit. I'm five two. I got PCOS. It takes me forever to lose weight. So the key to my weight loss has been giving up the alcohol.

Speaker 1:

Ugh, I know I has been sober curious and I heard people cringe at that word, which is like sober curious. I think that's been around for a while, it's not like some new age trend. But yeah, I'm sober curious. Except in dry January I'm completely sober and I had told my husband the other day. I was like have you noticed? I haven't been saying I'm tired. I used to say I'm tired 24, seven. My husband was like I'm gonna write that on your tombstone I'm tired and I'm like I haven't said that because my sleep quality has been the bomb.

Speaker 1:

And it just dawned on me the other day. I was like damn, I've been sleeping great and you'd think like when I had, you know, a couple glasses of wine, I'm knocked the fuck out and my husband will come to bed and he's like I couldn't even, you weren't even moving last night. You were so knocked out, passed out. I tried, you know, like I know I must have slept really good. I slept like a rock, but I didn't because I was always tired. And now I'm truly sleeping like and it feels amazing because I'm not tired and I'm going about at nine, I get up at five, I'm getting my shit together and I mean honestly, I really do. I feel pretty amazing. So when I do go back to drinking, my whole relationship with alcohol has changed.

Speaker 1:

I'm not going to probably sit, I'm probably gonna stick with not drinking throughout the week because it's just, it just did not make me feel good and I'm coping with my stress and pressure in different ways, like the low stakes TV shows. Remember we talking about that? I was like I'm watching Gilden Age, I'm drinking hot cocoa and it's amazing and it has been. I also found some more low stakes shows and the one we're watching now is called Trying on Apple TV and it is like so funny. It's about a couple who's trying to have a baby and it's wholesome. It's wholesome and it's low stakes and that has been the key to giving up alcohol during the week and for draw January, on the weekend as well.

Speaker 1:

Like I fixed myself a hot cocoa or a mocktail. Lately I've been doing this mocktail with, like, tart cherry juice. I got it from the Jaclyn Hill episode of not the episode, her reel, and if you don't know who she is, she's like a makeup artist. She can look her up on everywhere. She's everywhere Tart, cherry juice, cherry, limeade, poppy, tobocco. I put some New Orleans style bitters in there, it's like a cherry flavor, and then lime and I make garnishments and it's been great and it's like it's replaced my wand. That and low stake shows it has helped me manage my stress and I'm still working out. So, yeah, your girl's getting her shit together so I can have my spring debut in a cute sundress, looking like a 40 year old hottie with a cocktail in my hand. So that's what my wintering looks like, and let me know if your wintering looks the same. I would love to have friends along this journey with me.

Speaker 1:

But back to this episode, because I know I'm like rambling for forever, because I have not talked on this podcast for forever, so I'll try to make this pretty short, because I wanna spend my time today preparing for this podcast and structuring my podcast so you can get all the good stuff in a more streamlined format. So today we are talking about lessons I learned from travel in 2023. So last year was a huge year for travel for me. When I was in my abusive marriage. I didn't get a travel match.

Speaker 1:

My husband went to exciting places for his work. He went to Vegas, he went to California, he went everywhere and he had the option to take his family because his other travel partners and I'm talking about men here, because I'm pretty sure he did travel with his coworkers he was having affairs with at times too, but his coworkers, the men, would take their families. Like if they were going to California, they would take their families and they would make a family trip out of it because it's, you know, work pays for a hotel and stuff like that. His men never took me and I never got to see all those sites and find things and yada, yada, yada. I traveled to Florida like once a year with my daughter at the end, because we took solo trips just me and her and left him at home and it was the best thing ever. But yeah, I never got those experiences and you know he never took me for several reasons. I'm sure you know affairs and he just go back to the narcissist on vacations episodes and that'll explain all that. But I never had the opportunity to travel and you know that sucks Like.

Speaker 1:

Some people don't want to do that. I'm not some people. I want to get out, especially when I get out of Tennessee. So I just I didn't get to do it. So I have been, ever since my divorce, traveling and I went to the West Coast oh, I think it was three years ago For the first time. Well, it wasn't the coast. I went to Jackson Hole, wyoming, yellowstone, grand Tetons. All that took a road trip and it blew my freaking mind and then I was addicted ever since. So last year, in 2023, we took three big trips to the detriment of our bank accounts, because I wanted to show my daughter a good time and I wanted to show her a different side of life because she had not been to the West Coast. So I'm going to go through these and the lessons I learned and the order we did them.

Speaker 1:

Okay, in traveling opens your mind. It opens your world. I mean, oh my gosh, if you want a different perspective of life and how life could be, whether good or bad, pack your bags and go somewhere Like oh my gosh. That's probably going to be one of my number one, probably in top five tips of finding yourself and your energy and blah, blah, blah. Travel, get out. And I know not everyone has the means to do that. I understand, especially in this day and age when it's like $7 for a bag of Doritos, but any amount of getting out just a little bit Day trip, weekend trip always helps. So on with the show. My God, I've been talking for 15 minutes. I'm going to make this short. I don't want to keep rambling on here. I'm so sorry. First trip I went on Last year, spring break Disney World.

Speaker 1:

We did the Disney, we did and this is the Disney World in Orlando. We did Universal. We did Harry Potter World. Oh, my gosh, my favorite. We went during spring break. Now, I'm not a fan of crowds, okay, I do not like crowds. My ideal vacation is a cabin in the mountains or in the forest, away from everybody, our beach, just away from people. And we went during spring break because my daughter cannot miss school because she's on some special whatever, because she's going to a different county school and she can't miss school, basically. So we had to go on spring break and we were so pumped to go, so pumped to go, and when we went, y'all it was back to back lines. It was just like oh, it was a lot of stress, it was a lot of running around. I drink a lot of butter beer. They don't have alcohol and butter beer, unfortunately, but that was fun and it was just.

Speaker 1:

It was a hurry up and wait thing. You know, like you rush, rush, rush to the parks and then you wait in line and then you rush, rush, rush to the next ride and then you wait in line another two, three hours. It cost a shit ton of money. I think I paid $75 just for one ride to skip the line and I still think we had to wait like 30 minutes for that ride or something like that, and that was already after I'd paid for I forget what it was called like some kind of magic service or something for the day, which was like $25 per person. So, yeah, it was like $150 to get on this ride. Oh my gosh, but guess what? It was worth it.

Speaker 1:

So the first lesson I learned in my travels in 2023 is you got to have patience for the magic, because, yes, there was a lot of magic in Disney and Universal and Harry Potter world. There was a lot of shit too. There was a lot of shit. I mean that's a lot of bullshit having to pay. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, there was a lot of bullshit having to pay like that much money to go on one ride, but I will say that was worth it. I know $150 is a lot for a ride, right, and that's the only ride we did that on and it was the oh, it was a Star Wars one and it was super interactive. And my husband and I think I talked about this on an episode was a big chicken on a ride in the rides, but this one he really wanted to do and to see him just light up at the Star Wars ride and enjoy it and to see my daughter laughing and smiling was worth it.

Speaker 1:

And it takes time for the magic. You know, if you're going through a toxic relationship and you listened to all my podcast episodes and you're like I'm telling you to do this, I'm telling you to do that, and it's just it feels like you're walking up heel and you keep going and you keep going, you gotta have patience to get to the place that is magical, which is the other side. I know you all hear me say it all the time the other side, the other side is pure magic. It feels amazing. Yes, you're going to get the fireworks and all these special effects and like bright, vivid, colored lights. And I'm not talking about an acid trip. I'm talking about how it feels to get out on an abusive relationship You're going to. You're gonna feel like that. You're gonna feel like you're I don't know on drugs or something Like good drugs would be good drugs.

Speaker 1:

Maybe I shouldn't be saying that. They have like a euphoric feeling, ecstasy or something, but without like the legalities and bad side effects risk. I don't know, I've never done ecstasy, but I'm imagining what people say. That feels like is like oh my God, it's euphoric. That's how you're gonna feel once you get to the other side, and it takes patience and it sucks, and sometimes you have to wait forever and a day to get there, to get your shit together, to fall in line with what you're supposed to do, to line things up. You know, get that go bag ready, secure a divorce lawyer, build your support system up, build your stuff up, most importantly, and then get the fuck out. So I learned that in 2023, you have to have patience for the magic and I already knew that. But, man, that sure did play out waitin' in those lines. So if you need a reminder, go to Disney, wait in line and then have a blast on one of their rides.

Speaker 1:

I highly, highly, highly highly recommend Harry Potter World. What is? No, it's not even called Harry Potter. Wizarding World of Harry Potter. That's a time twister. Go get you a butter beer. Go stand in line for Hagrid's motorbike. Don't ride, bitch. Actually ride on the motorbike. And that's the feeling you're gonna feel when you escape your douchebag, abusive partner. You're gonna just feel like you are flat hat, all right, am I getting a little bit too weird in this episode? Are you like cat? You're off your rocker, probably because I'm not drinking, just kidding. That shouldn't mean I must shit together, all right.

Speaker 1:

Second place I went last year where I learned a lesson and that's gonna be the West Coast. So when we did this trip we were like, okay, finally we did the horrible crowds of Disney for Spring Break. Now this is gonna be our relaxation trip. We're gonna go to Oregon. We're gonna drive to Oregon Coast, stay in Oregon a little bit. We're gonna go down to Yosemite and stay at the place we stayed for me and my husband's honeymoon previous year, and then we're gonna go to Lake Tahoe and it's gonna be a relaxing trip, right? No crowds. Well, last year was record what was it? Snowfall or something? So record breaking waterfalls or whatever in Yosemite so you know where I'm going with this it was fucking packed. Yosemite was packed. We got our bikes stolen, we had to walk like miles back. We left early and I know I talked about this on a podcast episode so I'm not gonna rehash it, but it was terrible. And Lake Tahoe Lake Tahoe was terrible. It was terrible with the crowds. All right, nature and stuff was lit, but crowds oh my God. It was so much pressure again. So I'm not gonna get into all that.

Speaker 1:

But Oregon, love Oregon. And what I learned there is typical Oregon. You can find joy in the dreary. If you know Oregon weather, you got the gloomy, rainy days. Now, not every day is gloomy and rainy. Actually, we had it probably mostly sunny days last time. But I have learned in my times in Oregon that it's gonna rain and you're just gonna have to deal with it and have a good time. Anyways, you're gonna have to find your joy in the dreary because you can't live your life staying inside, refusing to do anything, because the weather outside's bad. You gotta get up and you gotta do it and you're gonna learn that, hey, it's not so bad, like you can still find happiness in some of the darkest moments. Like it's not a should you, could you. It's a you have to for your mental health. And I'm saying that because I've been there.

Speaker 1:

I talk about all the time I've been on that closet floor and I was going into a deeper, darker place because I had thought I had no joy in my life and I didn't even wanna look for it. I'm like, I'm so miserable, I'm so beaten down, I'm so broken and now cats telling me, oh, be grateful for something. Oh, find the joy. Like, screw you, cat. You have no idea what you're talking about. I do, I do. And you have to just look for something to change your mind, even if just for a moment, and work toward and let that be your joy. And if you have kids, it's usually gonna be that and I know you're like, oh, my God, my kids drive me crazy. But yeah, mine do sometimes. But my daughter was my joy and that's what kept me going and kept me moving forward and kept me from staying inside hiding from the bad weather. I had to go out there and make a lie for her. So, yes, find joy in the dreary.

Speaker 1:

When we were in Oregon, my favorite beach in the whole world is Secret Beach and I wanted my daughter to go to Secret Beach because we went the year before. And it's kind of a pain in the ass to get to Secret Beach because you have to climb over all these rocks and when we went it was raining and it was cold and everyone was kind of in a bad mood but I forced them to get out. I was like y'all are going, you're going to Secret Beach and you're gonna freaking like it. And guess what? They didn't. It wasn't just because I told them they had to. It's because we had a lot of fun, even though it was rainy and it was cold and we were like I don't want to be here and we were having to climb over rocks with like barnacles and we got all cut up and stuff.

Speaker 1:

But those are some of our best memories and we had so much fun, like when we forced ourselves out there to get up early so we could go, because you can't go like when the tide's in, so the tide's got to be out or else you're just going to not get to Secret Beach and we went and, like, we found all these. I call them starfish, but I think on the West Coast people call them sea stars. We found those. We found these weird things I'm not going to talk about because it's very crude and I know you're like, wait a minute, cat's not being crude. Is this a new cat? No, I just might have some people listen to this episode. So, yeah, we had so much fun. We found our joy and we just sucked it up by our cup and we did it, and we trudged through the rain and these slippery, slimy barnacle rocks and we found treasures.

Speaker 1:

And that's what you have to do in a toxic relationship and in life in general. You know, yeah, your husband may be a douchebag, he may be an asshole, you may be like I don't even know how to get out of the situation, but you need to find something to cling to that gives you hope and happiness, because you do not want to believe this shit he says about oh, you'll never live without me because I can guarantee you you will. You can build a life without your abusive, douchebag husband, boyfriend, whatever controlling partner, but you got to believe it. So find something to fight for, and I hope that's yourself, and I know I know how hard it is, y'all I know, but that's one of the steps to getting out, getting on the other side and to being not stuck. Find your joy in the dreary, Be grateful, go back to the gratitude episodes and find something to be grateful for, even if it's and I write about this in my book You're Not Stuck, which everybody should go pick up a copy.

Speaker 1:

Even if your gratitude is the stupidest shit ever, I'm glad I, or I'm grateful for my cup of coffee this morning, and that's about it. That's fine. Start there Does not matter, but you really need to. I know I'm harping on this. You got to find something to keep you moving forward and I can guarantee you you can find one thing in your life, at least one teeny, tiny thing. I don't care how little it is. Maybe it's your houseplant, maybe it's your dog, whatever it is. Find it, cling to it, right, but have patience for the magic and also find joy in the dreary.

Speaker 1:

And last but not least, let me talk about New York City, because I went from Coast to Coast y'all. I went from San Francisco this last year to New York City and New York City. I've got feelings, y'all I've got feelings. You know, everyone wears those shirts there. So I love New York City. I don't think I love New York City and I feel bad at mending that, but I don't think I love New York City.

Speaker 1:

New York City was otherworldly to me. I mean, we had the crowds at spring break. We had the crowds at Yosemite and Lake Tahoe Like we couldn't even go see that Emerald Lake or whatever. At Lake Tahoe there was no parking. I mean, lake Tahoe was just I'll never go back and it just did not have a good time. And then, guess what? We went to New York City during the setup for New Year's Eve. Between Christmas and New Year's Eve More crowds. So yeah, I never got my peaceful vacation last year.

Speaker 1:

That's also probably a place into why I've been like holding up and wondering because I need to decompress, especially from New York City. Oh my God, I thought spring break was bad at Disney World. Hell, no, it was nothing compared to New York City, where you have to drive for 40 minutes in traffic to go to a mouse and then pay Uber like $150. And then go out to eat and add a mediocre, overhyped restaurant and spend $300. And then walk literally back to back in crowds where people just give no fucks and they're unapologetic and they're I know it's the stereotype right Rude. But you know, I once heard someone say New Yorkers aren't rude, they're just efficient. And I kind of get that. And I say that now and I'm like yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So when we went, like if you're from the South or if you've been to the South, you say please and you say thank you. A lot of people say yes, ma'am and sir, I don't do that, I don't go that far, but I do say please, thank you. A lot of people will move out of your way. Pardon me, excuse me, you go first. And I was leaving in the grocery store yesterday when it was a madhouse, because we have a snowstorm coming in tomorrow and if you live in the South and you know if you hear someone whisper snow, everyone goes into a panic and has to go get bread and milk to make a milk sandwich or something. So that was happening in the grocery store yesterday and it was just like another crowd in the grocery store, but still people were like pardon me, excuse me.

Speaker 1:

And the thing I hate the most is when people say sorry, sorry if they're in my way, it's always women, it's never men. You can go back to one of my first episodes on, when I'm like stop saying sorry, stop saying sorry. I don't say sorry, but I do say excuse me, go ahead, you can get in front of me in New York. Fuck, no, they don't do that. Nope, no, there is no. Like you, go first. Nah, new Yorkers push their way around and they are unapologetic about it and they give zero fucks and I'm like now that is a life lesson I can give behind. It took us not even a whole day from saying excuse me, pardon me, letting people go in front of us because we were in the middle of town of squared to just like steamroll on everybody and giving zero fucks and not apologizing for it. I know that sounds horrible, but you have to, you really have to. Y'all should have seen my daughter.

Speaker 1:

We went to go get pizza. We waited in line about 45 minutes to an hour probably for this pizza and we had to walk it back to the hotel and she was guarding this pizza with her life and I'm telling you she was just like elbow in her way through the crowds, and when I say it was crowds, it was worse than Disney spring break. It was like you're literally touching people all around you because that's how crowded it is to walk down the street, broadway and wherever we were, I mean we were like seriously in time square in the middle of it. You walk down out of our hotel and you can see like the ball drops and all that and everyone around you is so close to you because it's so packed that you're touching everyone. You're elbow to elbow. You're literally elbow to elbow. My daughter loved that pizza so much she guarded it with her life and she was just like not apologizing whatsoever, just making her way through the crowd. She was doing it and she was just like I was proud but I was a little bit scared but we fit right in within like hours of being there because we were like oh my gosh, like no one else is acting like us, like oh, let me, let you get ahead of us.

Speaker 1:

And I talk a lot of shit about the South in Tennessee, but I kind of like I like how we're different down here and that we aren't like that, because sometimes, like I would go to Starbucks in New York. I would go to Starbucks in New York and I was like get my drink and say thank you and they just look at me like I was from another planet because I said thank you. And down here you go to Starbucks and they're like, yeah, y'all, stay safe, you're welcome, have a good day. And you go up to New York and they're just like fuck, you get out of here and there's a lesson to be learned in there. Okay, there really is, because you need to adopt that attitude sometimes not all the time, cause it was a lot of pressure y'all. It was so stressful, even though I had some magical moments. I saw Harry Potter on Broadway, I had my birthday dinner and there was some magic in there. Like overall, that was a very stressful experience and I probably never want to go again.

Speaker 1:

And we did fun things. We did Top of the Rock and we did. We went to Brooklyn. Now, that was cool Love to see the Brooklyn Bridge and all that. The slower parts I enjoyed the ambience of the Italian restaurant and slowing down. I enjoyed. But the crowds and the pressure and the honking oh my God, if you honk in Memphis, tennessee, you're gonna get shot, but in New York, every single Uber cab, whatever we were in, they were honking and they were like what the fuck are you doing? And it was typical. We saw so many interactions of people who were like don't fuck you, don't fuck, you, get out of here. Ba, ba, ba, ba. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is like a TV show. It was entertaining.

Speaker 1:

But what I'm trying to say is the lesson I learned there is be unapologetic and gives you your facts. And you don't have to be that way all the time. Like I said, we were that way in New York because we had to be, and you learn very quickly that you have to be. You can't let anybody in front of you. You can only let anybody cut in front of you. You can't. You know, you gotta push your way around just like the rest of them, or you're not gonna get anywhere. You're not gonna get from point A to point B. If you don't do that, you just not.

Speaker 1:

So, new York City, you know you are different and it's not in a bad way. Sometimes you might have to be what some might consider rude instead of efficient, but I get it Rude and efficient. Whatever, you gotta do it. So, when you are sticking up for yourself, when you are making these decisions, to become unstuck and get out of shitty situations. Keep that in mind. Sometimes you're gonna have to just be unapologetic and give zero fucks. Give zero fucks what anyone thinks about you. Who gives a shit if this person to the right of you thinks, oh my gosh, she didn't step aside and let me by, she just pushed her way through.

Speaker 1:

Good, because sometimes you have to do that. You have to. You don't have to live your life like that. You can go back to being all sweet and whatever and, by the way, you know, in Tennessee and the South we're sweet like that. We're gonna say, hey, you know, you can go in front of us. You pardon me, excuse me, but behind your back we're assholes, just like they are up in New York, except in New York they wear it as pride on their sleep. And sometimes you're gonna have to wear it as pride on your sleeve too, and that's okay and in fact I encourage it. Now, of course, don't go out and tell your abusive husband like fuck you, what the fuck are you doing? No, you can't do that, that's stupid. If you're gonna adopt this lesson, you need it. I'm not telling you to do anything like that. I'm just telling you to. Yeah, don't do that I guess I'm telling you to be unapologetic and give zero fucks. But come on, use your brain. I'm saying you have to be. I'm saying you have to be a little bit tough to get where you need to go.

Speaker 1:

To get from point A to point B, to get from Broadway to Hill, Brooklyn, I don't know. I was so lost over there. We spent so much in Ubers because we were too stupid to know how to take a subway. I was like I'm gonna get lost in a subway. I'm not doing that. So we Ubered everywhere and it was painful.

Speaker 1:

But to get from one road to the next on your journey, sometimes you have to make your way. You have to push yourself around a little bit, give zero fucks, be unapologetic about it and just keep going. Put those blinders on. Don't give a shit about the person to your right, don't give a shit about the person to your left. Go forward, or else you're not gonna get to your destination. You're not gonna get to the magic, you're not gonna get to that euphoric, ecstasy feeling. That's just how it is. But that's what I learned in my travels and I hope you've got something out of this episode and you can adopt some of these lessons to your own life and, yeah, pack your bags, go somewhere in 2024.

Speaker 1:

I don't know where we're going this year, where we're covering from last year and especially after that New York trip. I'm just kind of laying low and thinking about something and I'm gonna tell you it's gonna be somewhere where there's not gonna be a crowd, but I look forward to learning more lessons and expanding my horizons and just stepping out into the world and I hope you can also have those opportunities and if not now, then you can look forward to having those opportunities when you are on the other side. Thank you so much for listening. If you love the show, please leave a rating, a review, and if you know anyone who also might love the show or who could benefit from this information, please be sure to share it and subscribe. The more we get this out to people, the more people we can help, and I truly believe there's so many women who need to hear these words, because so many women are filling stock. Also, if you're looking for me, you can usually find me on the ground at author Cat Adams, and be sure to head over to my website and that's catadamsadamswithadoubledscom.

Speaker 1:

Subscribe to my newsletter for the latest information. Also, when you subscribe, you're gonna get a free novella. And just be forewarned, my Oronti romcom is as dirty as my mouth, so if that's your thing, go for it. It's super hilarious. But thank you again for tuning in. Until next time, please stay safe and I'll see you on the other side. Also, enjoy the whole video next week. Check out our national R&B page to the summary section below, and thank you for following Ra estadana. All right, then. Thank you guys for watching. See you guys care about work. Love U, thank U. Love U. This issue doesn't live long, love U. There're some minors on so called

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